You walk into the cafeteria at work and posted on signs sticking up from the middle of each long table are numbers: 20-25, 26-30, 31-35, 36-40, 40-45, 46-50, and 50+. You sit down with your brown little bag of celery sticks and peanut butter, and a big bouncer type guy comes up to you and asks you your age. No reason to lie here, you give it willingly. He shakes his head and unfolds his arm leading to an arrow-tip index finger. The 55 year olds sit at THAT table. You look at your friend who is 49 and back to the bouncer. You tell him that you are friends and want to eat together. You want to talk about your new baby or grandchild or boyfriend. The bouncer says he’s sorry, which means just shut-up and move ‘cuz he’s not budging on this, and tells you it just doesn’t work to mix everybody up that way. It’s too hard to keep track of things. The younger employees need more help, the thirty-somethings always tease the new hires by stealing their desserts and besides, everyone finishes at a different time and that leaves people scattered all over the room. Add to that the known fact that old timers want to be left alone and the only solution is staff segregation. So you pick up your vitamin water and move. Later that day, back in your office, an email memo circulates reminding employees of the new cafeteria policy. Break it and you are subject to a charge of insubordination. You take the gauntlet out of your “In Box” and throw it down. Before you know it there are gauntlets flying all over the place.
Our nation’s adults are in constant search of ways to make kids nicer, more respectful, and compassionate. The latest trends include Character Education, The Responsive Classroom, Quality Schools, Excellence in Education, and even home schooling which emphasize education, moral virtues and values. Whether they are family or societal, the goals are the same- to make kids smart and nice. Ironically most public schools, if they look hard enough, will find many instances in which students with differences are separated from one another. This may mean segregating by age, religious beliefs, academic achievement or potential, abilities and disabilities, English and non-English speakers and even so called gifted/talented and whatever the opposite of that is.
If people are serious about building character, moral values, compassion, respect, empathy and everything else we swear we want for today’s youth, I wonder how all the separation moves that forward. We sort kids out thinking we can shield them from the uncomfortable times in life- those times we run across people who speak differently, act differently, have tempers, are shy, are older or younger, smarter and not so smart, pray before they eat, who don’t pray ever, and from other human beings they have a problem with. In times of crisis, funny how we don’t much care that the person helping us is our complete opposite.
I have found that often, children who have the most severe disagreements realize with a common endeavor, the other kid really isn’t all that bad. When I turn the solutions over to them rather than try to micro-manage all their dealings with others, they usually rise to the occasion. Kids are masters at coming up with innovative solutions to problems, especially human ones. They are quick to understand the strengths and weaknesses of others if someone talks to them about it. They can understand why one kid gets to chew gum to calm his nerves and no one else can. They can understand that the kid who can’t read yet is trying as hard as she can and they offer to help. Children are the best of what human beings can be. Keeping kids apart is an artificial existence. At no other time in their lives will they be grouped the way some are in schools. We think we are preparing kids for the real world? Let them eat together, play together, and learn together.
The students will become the teachers.
