When you interview for the job, be sure you act humble. Don’t go into the interview thinking you already have the job. Bosses would rather see you holding back your confidence so you seem like you are what you ought to be which is whatever you think they want.
Be sure you stop at the playground to say hi to the kids before you appear for your interview unless, of course, someone is looking then they might think you’re just being a suck-up. As you squat down to talk to some little kid, make sure no one is watching except maybe one staff member who can run and tell the principal what a nice person you are.
Wear something that shows you actually love children like a tie or headband that has happy multi-cultured children’s faces on it or socks embroidered with, “I © Children. I Really, Really Do.” Don’t wear expensive clothes or make your hair look too good or you’ll be judged to be snobby; besides nobody trusts teachers who dress in gloatingly expensive clothing. How do they sit on the floor and finger-paint in a three-piece suit? People dressed too nicely are in danger of giving the impression that they have no intention of sponging paint off the hamster or crawling around to find the little ballerina that fell off the necklace the little girl who is crying in the arms of her friend brought to school against your sternest warnings. One more very important bit of advice: If you look over and see lint on your shoulder, don’t brush it off. That’s a rapper sign for something bad.
When you meet the interview committee, just shake their hands. Knocking nuckles and sticking your thumb up makes people uncomfortable and wary. Likewise,a handshake that continues around the thumb, over the hand, palm to palm until it finally concludes in a low, then high-five will just confuse people. A simple, not too limp not too cocky hand in hand greeting will work beautifully. Look humble but don’t be humble, but don’t be not humble too obviously. Suggest someone say the pledge of allegiance before starting the session and then with hand over heart look very, very serious as you stare in only one direction which is flag wise.
It would be great if people could see you ride away on a bike or in a Ford Escort. Although a Prius would make a nice impression, driving one of those may suggest you can actually afford one. If you walked, understand that someone has already taken note of your footwear. Avoid very high heels unless you’re applying for an administrator’s job. Something black or brown with a lot of rubber and pleather would bid a comfortable good-day.
If you take to heart these simple tips, you can rest assured that any job in America could maybe be yours.
