Now at the end of the Fourth of July weekend, I feel kind of bad I didn't pay more attention to my husband who was busy tuning out the crazy mother-daughter dialogue all weekend long. But in my defense, this was rough. Granted, I was able to get in the line (which is his favorite) "Your predilection for playing Marlene Dietrich for fundraisers is peculiar," I was busy defending myself, or rather, being aghast at the level and number of slams my little boat suffered in three measly days. I finished my final on Wednesday, picked up my mom on Thursday, and just this evening started to pull my shoulders out of my ears. Apparently, and you may know this about me already, I'm not very deep spiritually, my 4 1/2 year old son is "manipulative and a liar," my 1 1/2 year old girl "sure got my butt, but who does she look like? Her face is so pretty"...I have giant feet, "those shoes can't Possibly Fit You...they're HUGE," the profile of a pregnant woman "I've GOT it - you're pregnant! That makes your body shape make so much more sense" , hair in need of brushing (as well as teeth) "Oh Jenny, you really need some time for yourself, don't you?" better toes, nicer lip gloss, better fitting pants, the entire family needs a shower, my house needs to be on Clean Sweep and I need to establish formal dinner times and make sure my children eat more vegetables. And that was day 1.
And I'm feeling old, and wary. Wary because of this spate of thefts from people's window screens that is our only way to get air through the stuffy house. Now we have to lock up and sweat it out. Sad. Wary because in the last three days my sense of self has been undermined and I am left clutching the dirt in my home town, hoping for some sense of history here, though different people live in my old house that my mother doesn't want to go by because "those days are so godawful to think about." Those days being my life.
Sigh. I'm a little overwhelmed. Shorewood did its job for me though this weekend, from the Harper Valley parade and ice cream at the end of the route, to the fireworks, and I was snapped back to feeling home with the great outpouring of community. Granted, after the parade I faced the sea of rather irate folks about all manner of things, but was able to catch a nap before the evening. I got to sit with my son in my lap and watch a very impressive display of fireworks from so close! The best part was walking home - realizing that for the first time in my life I really understand and got it that wow, we live where the cool fireworks are, and people come from (and I mean seriously drive) from all over to watch them. I can't believe I'm old enough to be the mom, the mom that lives in a house, in a house in a suburb that has good fireworks. I'm not sure what that psychological phenomenon is called but I had a beer in the front lawn to celebrate being old enough to drink a beer on my front lawn, and hear the strange patter of folks finding their cars on my street and enjoying the wave of foreignness and remembering when this block was new to me, too.
It made me think of a collaborative art project for the village, called "On this Spot" where people would associate random things that happened on a few pre-determined intersections or locations in Shorewood. Maybe it could be anonymous - like signpost drop boxes with little notepads and pencils...or high tech - like on the shorewoodnow site. Off hand I can't think of anything I'd like to admit on any particular patch of high school front lawn or anything else, but I didn't know if this thought intrigued anyone else?
Moving on - I've got homework to do (as always!).
Good night, and happy Independence everyone!
