Boomerang, Toomerang, Zoomerang: The Dent and the Check and the Karma
What goes around comes around. You can't make this stuff up. Both phrases apply to what I'm about to tell you. I am not even sure how to react, except to think wow, I'm wiser and I no longer feel bad about not being mean or tough or thick-skinned.
Today, the mean dent lady called and left a message. In doing so, she heard my machine, which says the names of the kids (note to self, take that off). Well, this made her kind of snippy... It seems we have kids with identical names (except for 13-yr old Hunter the door-basher, kid's probably from a 1st marriage poor sop)! She recovered, albeit slowly, and went on to explain that she'd put the check in an envelope and left it sticking out of her mailbox, leaving it for the mailman to pick up. Today, much to her chagrin, "one of the landscapers" (!? to think I bought the poor-me story!) brought in the envelope from a neighbor's yard, and lo and behold the envelope had been torn open and the check stolen. (I'm sure it was missing the gift card from Neroli for the neck massage, too, but I don't think she put that in there in the first place.) She now has a stolen check situation. Is that not bizarre?? So she's writing me a new one, should be here soon. And now she has to follow-up on the check fraud procedures that I did last week.
So here I stand, ready to defend the person who weighs the options, goes with the gut, and tries not to upset people for sport. And if you are the kind of person who does not think about leaving people in a happier state than where you found them, I suggest you brace yourself, as it seems your own actions or attitudes may just come around and knock you down.
Hrnghh.
In other news, I so wish there were drive-throughs for nice things. I got all the way to Bayshore today, for example, and realized my passengers were sleeping. So I went home. There is strength, and then there is the kind of this-better-be-the-last-day-of-that-sale that gets a sleeping 42.5 pound boy out of a carseat in the way back of a minivan while the other one wakes up and starts shrieking.
Needless to say, I let them sleep and came home. But it got me to thinking about my errands that I had to leave undone because even though I had the time and the wherewithall to go to the P.O. and mail a happy package to my dear cousin, I couldn't do it. Now that P.O. at Bayshore comes close to accommodating moms with kids in the car...they have those automated package shipping stations that the one can be within eyeshot and running distance from the car. However, since it is I believe a federal offense to leave your kids in the car (? Help me out on this?), at what risk does one do that? I have been in the P.O., I'll admit it, and run out to find a crowd around my vehicle with more than one cell phone drawn and ready. Anyone who starts offering milk in the drivethrough ("Hello, Walgreen's Drive Thru Pharmacy? It's your business model, I'd like a sex-change operation please") could get me to pay WAY more for it, especially if it came with bread, peanut butter (creamy), a banana with no spots, one Miller Light and a 10 for $10.00 powerbar OR $1 package of Twizzlers. Heaven.
As it is, the only places with drive-thrus are kind of tacky, or not so healthy for eating. I will give McDonald's props for the dollar menu though. The dollar menu salad can come with this kicky ginger dressing and fancy almonds in a separate package (on my first attempt most ended up under the pedals in the car but I'm getting the hang of it). The $1 hot fudge sundae has nuts on the side. Luxus. It's nice when Citibank calls to make sure someone hasn't stolen my card in order to charge $1.06.
Also, it would be so cool to have the Bayshore Will-Call area for phoned-in requests (a USB cord at Apple Store, a pair of black pants from Boston Store, and maybe the prints from Kiddo Potraits or whatever they're called that are ready for pickup..) get some "ambassadors" on seques to come to my car window and here is a TIP my friend....or even someone at Trader Joe's posted during one hour outside where they will just keep an eye on the kids while you run in for that one odd thing that the middle child (or your own inner child) has to have. Like the staples: purple box mac 'n cheese, bag of those organic small apples that keep forever, a bottle of red wine, brie, multigrain crackers, and those mini beef tacos. Boom, if you count the time to pee (nice bathrooms), have a taste of whatever's cookin, and slug down a coffee sample, that is no time at all. Takes longer to get them in the cart! What would it cost them - $10 for the hour there is someone posted? It could be by invitation maybe. I'd for sure buy more I think if I knew I was alone, and could actually process a thought other than "Where's Milly" and "do you have any other Milly treats because no, my son really hates these organic lollipops."
OK, great, think I've talked myself in to the wine and cheese part. Am finishing up some coursework tonight, perhaps it would all work itself out with a more "fundraiser attendee" attitude.
