Sources for Sitters: ethics and tribulations for finding a babysitter on craigslist, facebook, or the neighborhood

A lofty goal, this title, but I'm determined to find answers to my latest quest into interdependence in society. 

Taking a class or going into an endeavor with a schedule requires an acceptance that Mom is going to be Away. This seems logical, simple even. I've tried to deny the fact that it takes resources outside of course fees or what's on paper to make this happen. And so, I'm going to have to embrace the fact that I will incur not only the expense of the class and books (which I deny up until the first assignment is due usually and then panic), but of the time to prep and write papers and midterms and finals (read=middle of the night=higher coffee and frozen pizza expense),(carryover effect=which makes for a tired mom who sits and eats handfuls of dry FrootLoops during Memorial Day Weekend instead of being plucky and planning a fun picnic or vigil or parade entry), and also of a babysitter to watch the kids when I ACTUALLY go to CLASS. Given that Steve gets home from work about 7:30pm weekdays, evening classes cost anywhere from $6-$10 an hour for childcare.

So I thought my babysitter was not coming back.. I figured, OH, this is IT, she's in Love, she's outtahere for the summer (she has one semester left, she has to come back in the fall, right??), I'm doomed. But then, she came back! And so 24 hours after I thought all was lost in that regard, all was back to normal, except now she has a real nursing job and is going to try to fit us in and such. So I'm a little concerned. Anyway, I put an ad on Craigslist to find a new sitter, for the early evenings, to cover my class (I mention this because the UWM Childcare option, would work, except for the fact they close at 6) .

And I got ten responses in an afternoon! WOW. Many qualified people, some nutty folks, ...people should just always be heavier on the spellcheck and lighter on the religious mumbojumbo in my book. So I interviewed two people and have another one scheduled next week.

And then I shot myself in the foot. (speaking of which, the new Cabela's circular in the Journal-Sentinel has pages of gun ads - from shotgun to purse-sized pistol. It isn't hunting season.  It is Memorial Day Weekend. !? Mentally challenging connections there).

Background: I've been obsessing on Facebook this weekend (not so ridiculous - I think it's going to be the solution for alumni relations for Shorewood High School..at least for some! Check out the Shorewood High School Alumni Group on Facebook. It's a totally open cross-class platform for lively discussion and pics and probably some Scramble).

I cross-checked my new sitter options on Facebook. I even invited them be Friends. And now, I can see all their pictures. And I'm afraid I'm going to have to make an ethical decision about one based on her self-representation in facebook. Never mind she's getting a degree in the right field and was very easy going and nice.  I know I would just worry about an underage party girl with a taste for the visually unappealing drunkenness that goes with it...I may just wonder about things at home the way I wouldn't with someone who had the same pics at their disposal but maybe wasn't quite so proud of them and chose not to post them online? I don't know. This is me, the one who made a huge face at the tidy whitey mother of three last week who mentioned that there are a lot of "Nice Parochial Girls" in the neighborhood who love to babysit - it made me kind of throw up in my mouth. Now that I'm faced with a girl who probably does that with some frequency, I feel like I'm stuck in the middle.

My block doesn't exactly have a lot of teens at the ready for sitting.  We have one tween, but she comes with considerable baggage. I think there is also something wrong (?) with me that I don't want so much attention right here at home -- would I have to clean extra hard? Yep.  Someone who comes maybe from a little bit away would maybe not care if they know all of our business.  Anyway, our block has some boys, boys I know at home have to be disciplined about their screen time just like Henry...and I think sure, they'd be fine probably, but what about Helen? It's more multimedia than it looks, having two, and our regular awesome sitter/friend person handles it well because unlike me, she is sporty. She walks, and they go to the park, and when Steve gets home the kids are both ready for bed and happy.

ahh.

That's all we want, right? A little touch of summer, some park fun, and no creepy pics online?

But I feel like I've unleashed the old people to invade the land of lost boys/girls to find their children drinking on Facebook..(omg and drinking with like some kind of tire part and a lot of tubing), and I am sorry! I never thought that'd be me..an employer not hiring someone because of her FaceBook offerings? But if I'm hiring for judgement, already I know there's some lacking there.

See you 'round the village! 

I have no sunglasses - I can't stand 'em. I always feel like as I'm walking down the street a big dog could run in front of me and I'd fall over it because I have sunglasses on. I know blue-eyed people are especially sensitive..I just don't have the moulah for prescription and no desire to do the clip thing - I have a tendency to misplace such items. Although, coup of coups - yesterday I was actually able to retrace our steps and find, in a pothole, my daughter's (actually son's but she was playing with it - violation)  little Lego axle for two tiny tires in front of Atwater School. Phew. That was lucky.

I'm also a little slow today - apparently it is possible to od on caffeine, and I have done it. So I'm detoxing, which just means removing the word "shot" from my vocabulary.

Speaking of the freaky armed robbery attempt at Cramer and Beverly this week, has anyone noticed there are no Street Name Signs along Oakland from Edgewood on up to where they are with the streetlights? Could that add to safety - putting the signs back? I was marvelling about that while on the 15 bus yesterday looking for the names that mark the stops..and they were missing. I have a friend who complains bitterly about Chicago because it's impossible to find anything because the streets aren't marked.  Aha - and now we have a little bit of Chicago right in Shorewood.  I trust the signs are coming back?

And so now it's Spring.  The ladies of Shorewood have a fresh coat of blonde and brown (and reddish blonde, ahem) and nary a gray hair in sight despite the late breeding of so many of us.  The faint clink and clatter of golf clubs and tennis raquets is audible from the mud rooms..meanwhile I have some kind of liver-overload from all the caffeine I've been consuming to stay on top of the most regular of things. Lifestyles of the rich and famous may be happening near me, but I'm one to bring the average down to manageable. I'm like the mystery cheap gas that brings the national average down below what it is here per gallon. That number always insenses me, and I wonder, are realtors in those areas working that angle? It would attract me.

So, the Big News in Our Town is that the school referendum passed! But...the lead Shorewood article in the NOW today is about the Intermediate School possibly closing. Um. I wish that there could be more happy joy about the 9.6 million being approved, just for a moment. And I wish the article in the Now had been more articulate in describing that the just-passed referendum had nothing to do with the Intermediate School, but with high school issues that will exist hopefully ad infinitum.  Then we could address the seemingly urgent/not urgent (like do I have a will? Ooh, I should, but I won't today) issue of pending low enrollment.  I will offer my two cents, which is probably going to get me in hot water but with the state of the basement heater that desperately needs a drain, perhaps I can enjoy a nice long shower with it.

The enrollment issue is one I remember from a college class that was literally titled "How to Lie with Statistics" (ahhh, Oberlin, I miss you) I know there are kids, and kids go to school. And if there aren't enough kids in the classroom, there are ways to "tweak" it and get more kids, like opening up more 220 offerings and rolling in the open enrollment from other districts.  Those are the numbers we track and calculate. However, we don't calculate the number of kids within Shorewood who do not attend Shorewood Public Schools. At least, I've never seen that figure in the table. Is student enrollment down but student population up or the same?  How does the Public vs. Private mix number look? Do we have that statistic? 

I know from sales that it's easier to get an existing customer to upgrade than to find a new one. I think this applies to people who have moved to Shorewood who perhaps need a hand to realize how significant their decision is to join the school district as well.   I would think, and there is understanding and contemplation afoot to do this, to take more responsibility as villagers that we should not only track these numbers but bring those kids back "home" to the district.  I'm not sure that Shorewood parents of St. Robert's students, for example, particularly feel that they are exhibiting any kind of community disregard or personal aggregiousness to the district. It is time, however, to ease up on the people who raised their kids here, put them through Shorewood Schools, and who are pillars of the community and have worked all their lives, some, to create our golden village, who do not have kids in school at the moment, and refocus on people who do have children who are not attending Shorewood Schools.  Is enrollment down but population up?  I have heard too many times recently (some even friends who unwittingly exhibit blatant ageism) flip comments about wanting to "free up the housing stock for young families"...but why don't we look at the customers we're missing?  It reminds me of the island that brought in cats to eat the mice - one can't know that bringing in new families wouldn't swell the ranks of St. Robert's instead.

We need to embrace all the children in Shorewood, bring them into the fold, and let the ones who are not attending Shorewood schools really see the legacy that could be theirs, and could be woven into their community experience. 

I think sharing more alumni voices who credit their Shorewood experiences for their preparation and jump-start into the world is one way to do this.  I'll get right on that. As soon as this bland decaf tea kicks in. Hah.

This is my first entry in what will hope to be an amusing, informative, and educational blog about life in Shorewood, or "Vatican City" as one reporter used to refer to our village, the same geographic size as the Vatican.  I grew up here, or well, moved here when I was in third grade and graduated SHS in '86. So, technically, by Village standards, I "didn't really" go here the whole way through. At my 20th reunion someone remarked that I was absent from the K4 pictures! Nope, I was in (hold breath) MPS.  And yes, I did just reveal my age.  Now I have no secrets. Our realtor mentioned when we were looking at a house in 2004 that "In Shorewood, there is just one degree, not six" and it's true, so here I am.

I am going to write a few ongoing columns within this column, reporting on things that I find hilarious, great, appalling, and little-known about Shorewood. I feel it's time to use my powers for good and let my history be useful for things (other than noting that I have never, ever looked good in the VHS pool locker room mirror).  I will get over my feelings of loss about the Shorewood Bakery (at some point) and share my elation that upon moving back to Shorewood after 20 years to raise my family and share Shorewood with my husband and, now, two children, that there is no fee to use the beach at Atwater. Amazing! Every summer I'd cull the house for small change in hopes I could join my friends down there. Now, it's gratis (though I realize, that is another issue). I hope to interview people who have raised children in Shorewood and find out their stories, as I am grateful to them for their wisdom and dedication to our village.  To me, Shorewood is "where grandma lives" even though my own family is not here. 

So dear reader, know that I care deeply about this community. Enough so to move back because of three things: comfort, connection, and community.  I feel so much support in Shorewood --  my children have grandparents here whenever we walk in to City Market, I have friends from before who are golden and new friends who know me only as an adult, and I can thrive as an multifunctioning mom/artist/grad student/teacher/wife/ and dye my hair burnt orange (now I match the baby) as kind of an accident and wear pink boots and be just fine in this town.  I represent old Shorewood and new Shorewood. I am proud of our school district and realize what a very special, intergenerational village we have here.  So pat yourself on the back for your choice to be part of our interwoven community, but don't slip on the ice! See you 'round the village!