I'm a motorcyclist and own two. Motorcycles get pretty good fuel economy, but many people are intimidated by them for one reason or another.  My biggest motorcycle is a Honda Goldwing which is a handful at times. It weighs, literally, half a ton and is the largest motorcycle out there and that includes the biggest Harleys. As some Goldwing riders age, the hugeness of the machine gets intimidating and they have looked at the Honda Helix scooter in the past, as a way to keep riding with the shiny side up and the greasy side down. A comfortable and adequately powered scooter, not to be confused with the tiny scooters that ride on the side of the road or hold up traffic.

This demand has made some motorcycle makers expand their line of scooters and Suzuki has the "Gold Wing" of scooters, the Burgman. I rode my 'Wing over to Waukesha's Action Power Sports on the south side of town and rode a used 2006 Suzuki Burgman. This is not your stereotypical scooter. It is easily mistaken for a regular motorcycle yet has a step-through frame to make getting on and off easier for us aging motorcyclists. The seat is huge and plenty cushy for rider and passenger. A feature of scooters is legroom.  Unlike motorcycle foot-pegs, you have large floor boards which allow your legs to keep from stiffening up in one position.

If you've never rode a motorcycle, I think you could jump on this and ride away because of one great feature. It has an automatic transmission. There are a number of very high tech features which make it a great machine. The engine is huge for a scooter. It is a 650cc twin that is fuel injected. Rare for a motorcycle and unheard of for a scooter. The fuel injection makes starting the engine as easy as a new car. Turn the key, push a button and the engine is running. The transmission is what is called a continuously variable transmission (CVT). That means no gears. Rather the transmission is like having dozens of  gears which allows the engine to operate at the most efficient rpm for any situation. To get going just twist the throttle grip and it smoothly takes off. This transmission type is starting to be used by some SUV's by Saturn and Ford. Subaru had the first production CVT years ago in it's Justy, but huge improvements have been made in recent years.

Acceleration is great. Faster than many cars, you will not have to worry about keeping up with the traffic. I got it up to well over 70mph and it still had plenty of acceleration power. Handling was very good too. The wheels are larger than smaller scooters which gives it motorcycle-like stability.

Brakes are like a bicycle in that they are hand grips.  The front is like any motorcycle, on the throttle side and the rear brake lever is where the clutch usually is. I quickly felt comfortable with the braking system and nothing for my feet to do other than steady the scooter when stopped. For added safety, there is a Suzuki Burgman model with ABS, anti-lock braking. A feature some motorcycles have. The gas tank is accessed by flipping open a very car-like cover for the gas cap.

The "dashboard" is a modern digital set of gages. It has an unusual feature in that you can mimic a six speed transmission with a push of a button. I don't know why one would use it other than if you get bored of the fine CVT. It also has a "power" button which apparently runs the engine more in the maximum torque rpm range upon acceleration. I didn't try it as the regular setting was plenty powerful. That being said by a guy who likes to rush through the gears and get ahead of the traffic.

Why consider a scooter? 65 miles per gallon is one reason. It has fair storage and claims to be able to hold two full face helmets under the seat. This used model even had a trailer hitch and wiring harness on it. I can see it capable of pulling a very small motorcycle trailer for additional storage space for the longer touring trips it is very capable of.

I'm giving serious consideration to adding one to my two wheeled fleet.

I hope that if you've read my previous blog, you noticed that I tagged it as satire. Just keep in mind that satire and stereotypes have roots in truth.

I am wondering one thing though. Many of the good citizens of Waukesha have complained about noisy motorcycles.  The police response is usually that they have to hear the offender in order to do anything with it. Just to let you know that I'm not Saint Steven, I used to make my share of noise around Cutler Park in the very early 1970's on my Triumph Bonneville with non-mufflers on it. I was eighteen then. I got a citation after a time and ended up buying mufflers for it. That was the end of my "to heck with other people" days. 

I don't exaggerate when I say that fully half of the attending motorcycles will probably have shed their adequate factory mufflers and put on something louder or often no mufflers at all.  The Americade rally that I've attended several times, specifically warns that loud motorcycles will be ticketed by Lake George New York police. I witnessed it being done almost constantly during the rally. 

I fully expect that the law here will be enforced just as vigorously as it is in Lake George. Stock up on ticket pads and pens. Otherwise I want my citation money back, with interest from 1970! 

A former editor of a local newspaper has told his readers that if they don't want to contend with the big Harley party this summer, leave town for a few days. How quaint!

As I am a motorcyclist for over forty years and have taken several camping excursions into the Appalacian Mountains and attended many motorcycle rallies, Harley Davidison specific included, I believe I have a more knowledgable opinion of this than those in the city that only see $$ dollars $$ and a little rumble in the air. 

Harley Davidson riders are divided into three groups. They are the hard core riders. They look like Paul Tuetul. Tatoos are cool. Out of my way type of people. Also known as the 1%ers. Then there are the Wannabes.  Like Clark Kent, they lead boring lives in their community and help old ladies across the street during the week.  On weekends they transform into the appearance of Sonny Barger, the most famous 1%er, but stop short of riding up and down the street whacking the citizens of Hollister with chains and being served food and beverage then leaving without paying for it. They have a Walter Mitty desire to be looked at by the cowering spectators as a 1%er.  They do some good deeds and raise some money for charity from time to time so they can have the police look the other way when they push the limits of law. The third type of Harley Rider can be confused with a Honda rider. They don't necessarily wear the uniform or have the attitude.  They just like the looks and sound of the machine and enjoy the ride.

Harley events also have double lives. There is the main event. Perhaps the most well know is Dayton Florida. I've never been there but I think it is about to be held as I write this blog. It is a rite of spring and the season kick-off. The hard core riders visit the main event but look for something a little more thrilling.  These side events are usually miles away from the main event or in a neighboring city. They are not sanctioned by the main event sponsor. Camera crews from "girls gone wild" frequently show up. The smell of burning hemp is in the air and the syringes littering the area are not from diabetics. Hospitals have to call in off-duty doctors and nurses. Beer trucks are hijacked.

Waukesha's event will fall someplace between Lake George New York (Americade) and Hollister California, and I don't mean geographically. I mean mild and wild.  This is why I've gone on record that is it best held at the County Expo grounds. 

The organizers say that they will have security covered by rent-a-cops and the police will not have to lift a finger. Perhaps, and I certainly hope so. However, I've seen what naive little towns get themselves into.  We'll need the sheriff deputies near by.  Lots of them. 

Whenever there is an event that closes the streets downtown, it seems that I need to get somewhere there, such as the bank or to drive though it to get somewhere else that I need to be. 

This proposed Harley Party has all the appearances of trying to highlight a certain business that got rammed down the taxpayer's throat and a whole bunch of people are resentful of. Putting that aside, I've got no argument against hosting a Harley Party, but downtown is not the place to do it. The County Expo grounds is the place to hold such a function.  That is why it is there.

I would like to have the businesses around downtown see some income from such an event though.  There is a fun way to do it.  It is called a "Poker Run". Motorcyclists love to eat and they can be directed to the downtown area eating establishments by having them as a stopping point to have their card stamped or to draw a card. Some of the riders and passengers would like to see some of the artistic side of downtown too.  Perhaps a special bus shuttle could be operated to relieve congestion and allow people to easily get from the expo grounds to downtown.

A fun and profitable time can be had by all. Just don't shut the streets down for the people that have paid to use them!

Yeah! I like the idea.

It seems like a couple months ago that talk radio had discussion about the initial proposal to erect a bronze statue of "The Fonz" somewhere in downtown Milwaukee as a tourist attraction. I believe that some hoity toity (I'd rather use the adjective artsy ******) art elite threatened to move out of Milwaukee should that happen.  Gee, we're going to miss you guys!

Assuming that it becomes reality in Milwaukee, should Waukesha capitalize on it and erect a statue of The Fonz's visit to his cousins who fictionally lived in Waukesha? Yes! Only, it should be a bit more than a statue or two of the cousins. It should be one of the Fonz himself and it'd be better if it were him on his motorcycle chatting with his cousins.

I bet it would become a huge attraction for not only the many motorcyclists riding in the area to have their picture taken with it but also become a destination for riders who otherwise would never visit Waukesha. While the Fonz rode a Triumph, perhaps one of the cousins could be astride a Harley Sportster.  I tell you, the HOG clubs and motorcyclists in general would flock to it.

My first choice for location would be the roundabout in Frame Park.

What can you say but, "Heyeee"?