Practically Speaking

Kyle, just one small point.  I don't think any health teachers get into the business hoping they won't have to teach these topics.  It's their job, after all.

I guess I have the same philosophy with the pharmacists who wouldn't distribute birth control.  If you don't agree, don't get into the business.  I'm a vegetarian so should I work at a slaughterhouse and protest?

Other than that, I think your other arguments are indeed valid.

Kyle's reply: Hi Shawn, I do see what you are saying, and no, you shouldn't work at a slaughterhouse and protest eating meat. :) But some material they are introducing is hitting the elementary grades. Also, if a teacher is in their 50s, what qualified as Sex Ed. when they chose their profession is very different from what is now deemed appropriate. 

Same with the pharmacists. When most entered the profession, the morning after pill was not even invented yet. 

That is true Kyle, but I guess my question is if you have the right to object to duties in your job which are now, and may not have always been, fundamental roles in the job.  Any of these teachers have "opted in" by agreeing to teach a curriculum set by their district or school, thus being hired.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that I don't really agree that if there's a role in your job you don't want to perform, that you can get off scot free.

If you are a teacher conflicted about a particular topic then I suspect your classroom approach will be impacted. The same would go for a teacher wholeheartedly buying into any particular (re: HG&D) curriculum and their approach to the subject. HG&D leaves way to much up to the discretion of the school and teacher. I've always wondered who taught these teachers about oral sex et al?  Anyway, I favor the opt-IN approach just like any elective subject. Seems to make sense and avoids any stigma associated with opting out.

Seems to me that we are avoiding THE pivotal issue here.

Doesn't one usually need to be experienced in the subject matter to qualify to teach it: a major in English to teach English; a major in Math to teach Math; etc?

So tell me more about the folks currently qualified to teach the proposed HG&D curriculum!

Well!

We've covered opt in/opt out before.

We should respect people's differences on this topic.  Opt in is no better than opt out.  We are sure that more will opt in than out, so make the process administratively easier by using opt out.  There is no stigma to the paperwork--the stigma (if any) occurs when some go to HG&D and others go to study hall.  Opt in or opt out won't change that.

We are sure that people will choose the easier course of action.

Right now, the default is to be in the programme.  

If you sincerely believe that more families want their children to study sexual norms ala Elmbrook, put your theory to the test by taking the Blog Challenge: trying Opt In. If families respond as you believe they will, you have made your case.  You may go back to Opt Out to keep the paperwork easy and the detractors will have no cause to grumble.

SIDE NOTE: "There is no stigma to the paperwork--the stigma (if any) occurs when some go to HG&D and others go to study hall.  Opt in or opt out won't change that."  What kind of convoluted thinking is this?  No one said the paperwork was at fault.  Opt Out is more than paperwork, it is a series of actions initiated by paperwork.  Perhaps the series of actions (or some actions in the series) is/are WRONG and make the children uncomfortable.  Please consider measuring district courses of action by WHAT IS IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN.

"WHAT IS IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN."

Perhaps what is in the best interest of the children is (1) informing parents of an oral sex problem among sixth graders, and (2) allowing the parents to handle that sensitive situation with their child as they see fit.

Of course, that would require enough humility on the part of the school district to admit that some things are better left to 'home schooling'!

If you want your kids taught this subject at school than make it an elective and those who want it can sign up. Those parents/students preferring the topic be left at home can have their kids pick another elective. Simple.

If the subject is offered at all and some students take it and some don't, the ones that do take it will educate the ones who don't. And expect a different translation of the information to those that didn't take the course. Things have changed in our society and maybe not for the better, look at some of the clothes you see children, young adults wearing. If its not for sale , don't advertise it like it is.

If the school board has put together a panel of people from the private sector to review the subject/course matter let them be the ones to offer a course of action on the subject. Then let the School Board Decide the matter. That is what they are there for. Either way the subject of how to teach this subject matter (sex) will always be  controversial. Better to learn about it in a classroom than in the bushes behind the school.

Mick,

I've been having some thoughts along the same lines.  For Middle School, there are the quarterly ACE classes which children choose.  To offer HD&G in this format would make it easier for a child to opt out without being pointed out.  At the same time it would address the issue of providing alternate curriculum.  For students participating in some but not all lessons (opting out of some specific lessons) it would help pinpoint in advance when those particular lessons would occur.  I think each quarter is about 9 weeks.  Five lessons each week, maybe 40 minutes each? 200 minutes or about 3 hours each week... so 27 hours total... minus days off (holidays, snow days, etc)... maybe 20 hours.  It would be good to know how much time is dedicated to HGD curriculum at each grade level.  That is difficult to determine because the topics are currently taught in various subjects and class periods, throughout the year.

SE,

I like your idea of keeping parents informed.

Larry, I think you are quite naive to think that if the subject is introduced in a class that the kid's aren't going to be giggling about it and talking about it on the playground.  I find that trying to teach morals without any basis (i.e. religion) is bound to be futile.  Trying to tell the kids that it's dangerous, while the world is making it look cool and fun and pleasurable, is pointless if you can't tell them about the moral side of it, i.e. fornication, adultery, etc.  We are inundated with sexual images and one would have to move to an Amish community to escape it.  We are lying to ourselves!

I doubt that many parents are comfortable about having a frank sex talk with their kids, but turning it over to the public schools is the cowards' way out in my opinion.  There are too many restrictions on them to do it in the way that most parents want it to be done, and it has do be done in a "valueless" way.  No matter how you cut it, it's not the right way to do it in my opinion unless you just want the kids to be taught the mechanics of sex and its ramifications.  I would much rather see churches offer a course on it, but even they seem to steer clear of it.  

"I doubt that many parents are comfortable about having a frank sex talk with their kids".

Right on the money tweetie, and that's an important point. If you just want to make babies and leave the raising to someone else, vote for an HG&D program that relegates the tough part of parenting to our own $200K a year Dr. Matt. And to the juvenile courts of course.

If, on the other hand, you want your kids to love the real you - warts and all, and to know that they are really loved by you - warts and all, occasionally you've got to straighten up, pull off your comfortable parent mask and wade head first into the middle of their little lives to say: "I think I may know where you are. I was once there too. Let's talk about it, shall we?".

We are living in the midst of sexual predators.  Schools may believe most of these are the child's parents or relatives.  Families tend to believe most of these are dates, flattering strangers on the web (whom the child believs to be "friends"), etc.  

Perhaps the majority of kids get involved in sexual activity by some means of coercion or "emotional grooming".

There is an EXCELLENT parent/teacher book called "Unmasking Sexual Con Games."  It may be worth your reading.

The secret is to get the kids to internalize a value system, sense of their own immeasurable worth and dignity, and how that can be diminished by sexual activity.  Again, they have to buy into it, internalize it, or it gets thrown on the pile with "rules meant to be broken".

Intewedm. Having the school system involved with sex education is not the cowards way out of education. Not everyone has the ability to express or teach there children about a particular subject especially with out the teaching aids that are available to educators. If you want to keep it under your roof that is your option.

When my children went though the Elmbrook system sex education was done by an outside physician brought in and it was done in an assembly with the parents present. Dr. Hofmeister. It all worked out fine, he controlled the laughter and the giggling (it was there). It is to be expected at that age level. It worked fine and I am sure there was lots of comments good and bad but at least something was done. Good or bad we all learned from it and moved on.

Your morality will be taught the way you want it perceived in your house. Your religious venue has to be kept out of the school system. I may not like your morality as being taught under your religions rules. Especially if there is a Priest involved who never got married and is off the edge in his own world of the way he perceives sex. What a disaster that has turned out to be, good religious morality there hey.

Some one else will educate their children the way they may see morality. Even a Mother with a live in boyfriend will be teaching morality to their child. Good or bad, so be it.The school board has the definite responsibility to address the subject especially for those that feel it is best taught by some one who knows more about teaching than the average parent. Show up at the meeting and express your contrarian point of view. Your just one person and the silent majority always rules anyway.

The School Board will make its own decision after listening to those that want to express them selves about that or any subject brought before them for discussion. Morality is only so good when your son is walking down the hallway looking at some girl with lots of her personality showing with todays "style" of clothing. It may not be for sale but it sure is being advertised like it is.

Try turning off his hormone machine inside his body at that moment and see how far you get with your morality teaching. Beat into his/her head the feelings of guilt about the subject of sex if not done under the rules that you taught him/her at home.

The mechanics of sex and its consquences should be taught in our schools, it is just the timing that is involved here. We as parents will never have the ability to turn off someones biological machine but we may help that person control it with the threat of acting on its urge before the brain kicks in and says control your self.

Never time to do it right but always time to do it over.

Larry,

Please be aware that excellent teaching aids are available to parents.  Many families home-school, whether in this topic alone because they opttheir children out, or the homeschool entirely.  Please also be aware that while districts may have a HGD program, it is not required.

Two great resources are:

1) A Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey with your Kids about Sex

by Dr. Kevin Leman and Kathy Flores Bell:

Your kids need you to talk with them about sex. No one else will do. This book helps you prepare for the intimate talks when the changes hit. Practical and down-to-earth. Hardbook. 214 pages.

2) The Rules Have Changed (Video - DVD)

Narrated by Dr. Meg Meeker, Dr. Paul Warren, and Dr. Marilyn Maxwell Billingsly.

There are many more, available on the web and/or through local bookstores.  The libabry may even have some.

"The mechanics of sex and its consquences should be taught in our schools"

Mechanics? You really can't teach mechanics without a demo of some kind. How would that be handled? I do not believe that Mr. Lighttop from the Math department or Ms. Bookbinder from the Library would consent to doing a demo.

This is why I like the concept of parent-teacher coupled training. Let the teacher teach the principals involved while the parent handles the mechanics in a Q&A at home. Once kids realize that they can get Dad all red in the face, they'll have loads of questions, and lots of learning will occur in the privacy and safety of the kids home.

If home is not a good place to learn what's best, the kid has got real problems no HG&D teacher will be able to address.