|
The Rambling Insomniac
Tom is a 25+ year resident of Germantown and the surrounding community. He currently lives in Hubertus with his wife and two small kids on a hobby farm near Bark Lake. Tom's blog will likely not save the world, but hopefully, you'll get some enjoyment from his ramblings.
Deer Stand Logic
By Tom White
Friday, Nov 23 2007, 07:10 AM
Let me start by apologizing to my loyal readers (Hi Mom and Dad!) for my lack of blogs lately. I’ve spent the past two weeks at deer camp, and an internet-ready P/C is not one of the luxuries provided at the shack.
So anyway, for those unfamiliar with the “art” of deer hunting from tree stands, let me describe it to you. You place a ladder, seat, chair or similar device into a tree in the middle of the woods; you sit there; and you wait for a deer to come by. That’s about it (well, there is much more to it, but that’s not my point here). One of the beauties of hunting this way is it affords the hunter countless hours of peace and serenity to contemplate all of life’s problems, issues and mysteries. You know, normal stuff like family problems, politics, finances, work issues, potential landscape projects, Christmas shopping, etc. So as usual, I went to deer camp this year with several big issues on my mind that I felt I could spend some quality time with, and hopefully bring to resolution. Well, that was the plan anyway.
It’s truly amazing what happens to a man’s mind after he spends several hours sitting in a deer stand. Maybe it’s just me, and I’ll admit that. However, while sitting there staring at the same leaf blowing back and forth for hours on end, I get hypnotized and my brain starts meaninglessly wandering. I drift off into random movie lines, stupid random thoughts, song lyrics, crazy questions that I don’t know the answers too and who knows what else. For me, it goes something like this……
”Do wild turkeys realize it’s the week of Thanksgiving?”
“Go ahead, make my day”
“Please God, just let one big buck walk out right now”
“Oh crap, I forgot to bring a beer out here”
“Commemorative bucks of Michigan!”
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“Oh God, I’m sorry for asking you to send a buck my way. That’s selfish”
“I got a shotgun a rifle and a four-wheel drive, and a country boy can survive”
“Elliot Yamin. Elliot Yamean. Elliot Yamoan. Why am I thinking about that guy?”
“I want a hippopotamus for Christmas”
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“Why are crows so loud and are they scaring all the deer away?”
“Black Crows. Counting Crows. Man, I really have to blow my nose”
“And if you get the chance, you are a dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen”
“What bar did we go to last night?”
“Are there any deer even in these woods”
“Did the pilgrims have to wait until deer season to shoot a deer, or could they just blast away whenever they wanted to”
“I got a rock” (classic Charlie Brown line)
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“Do woodpeckers ever get a headache?”
“I hear so many shots going off. Is every guy in this county except me killing deer?”
“Say hello to my leetle friend”
“It’s these dang turkeys scaring away all the deer”
“I need a smoke”
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“Click, click, boom”
“And I had, the time of my life, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”
“Where are all the freeking deer!?!?”
“Crazy, crazy for felling so lonely”
“Wow. I really have to pee”
“What time is it anyway?”
At this point, I’d look at my watch and realize it’s exactly seven minutes later than it was the last time I looked at my watch, and then, the entire cycle begins to repeat itself. Ugh!
It goes without saying that I didn’t solve any of my own issues, or for that matter the world’s issues while I was in my deer stand this year. I did however manage to harvest a nice size doe, saw about a million turkeys and enjoyed some beautiful peace and tranquility in Wisconsin’s North Woods. I guess that’s probably even better than wasting time solving problems that will always be there anyway?
G’Night G’Town!
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. ~Steven Wright
|
|
