On March 11th, the United States Bowling Congress announced its decision to move their headquarters away from Greendale, and take up shop in Arlington, Texas. While this is a blow to us economically because we’ll lose over 200 jobs in our area, I personally don’t see this slowing down the longstanding traditions of league bowling in the Milwaukee area.
“Traditions?” you may ask….let me explain. Over the years, I’ve bowled on countless leagues at bowling centers such as Reuter’s Lanes, Westbrook Lanes, Petroff’s Lanes, Krueger’s Lanes, Sussex Bowl, Village Bowl, Olympic Lanes and Kettle Moraine Bowl. And no matter where I’ve bowled, the league traditions are always the same:
- Most teams play some form of card or gambling games while they bowl. On men’s leagues, the playing cards are never standard decks, but are usually filled with naked or scantily clad women.
- “Pot games” are played all night, with tons of money being bet on who’ll bowl the best scores that night.
- 5th frame is “beer frame” and the bowler with the worst score that frame buys a round of drinks, much to his or her chagrin.
- If everyone gets a strike in a single frame except for one team member, that team member is usually chastised verbally, and must pay some sort of penalty for letting the rest of the team down. This humiliating event is referred to as being “hung”.
- Usually, the best bowler on the team bowls in the last spot referred to as “anchor”. "Usually" is the key word here, as it's not guarnteed that on any given night he'll be the best bowler.
- There will always be a waitress that comes around and brings your team drinks. What other sport does that happen to the participants in!?
- Bowling 6 strikes in a row will usually win you a free drink on the house. Note that I’ve mastered the fine art of bowling only 5 strikes in a row.
- A bowler’s dedication to the game can usually be measured by how many bowling balls he or she brings to the lanes. Any halfway decent bowler has AT LEAST two bowling balls. One is for strike shots, and the other is for picking up corner pins. Anything more than two balls is simply bragging.
I guess when you look at that list, you could draw a conclusion that league bowling is all about drinking and gambling. But the real reason any of us bowl is for the camaraderie and competition. My long-stay league has always been at Pioneer Bowl in Richfield, where I’ve bowled on the Thursday Night Men’s league for the better part of the past twenty years. That may seem like a long time, but many of the teams and bowlers on the league have been in place the entire time. We have a huge cast of characters on our league with names like; Zock, Fish, Philly, Woody, Little Jimmy, Tombo, Zak, Oz, Big Money, Fubu, Ferris, Hippity Hoppity, and Hollywood. Our league also has a two-headed man-whore we refer to as FrankenKurt. Although I only see them one night a week, there are a ton of guys on my league that I would call good friends.
So, while the USBC has pulled out of our area, Wisconsin bowling centers will continue to be filled with bowlers, gamblers, and friends every night of the week. I wonder what they do for fun in Arlington, Texas?
G’Night G’Town!
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. ~Don Carter
