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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Apr 26 2009, 09:30 PM
It reminds me of hot summer Friday nights. It was always a Friday. Never any other night.
In those days, the ice cream truck didn’t play the nauseating recording of, “The Entertainer.” He’d just pull up down the street, turn on his bright inside lights, open the windows, and ring a hand bell alerting everyone in the neighborhood that it was popsicle time.
About two years ago, I blogged about childhood memories of Mitchell Street, including Graeven’s Bakery, just one block south of Mitchell on S. 8th street:
“Graeven’s would do something unheard of on Friday nights in the summer months. All week long, the bakery would close up for the day around 5:00. Then on Friday nights in the summer, when the sun was down and evening darkness had arrived, a side door to the bakery on S. 8th Street would fly open. A baker clad in long white apron and white hat, full of flour would open that door to see a long line of people waiting in the hot, humid sticky night. These people should have been home sitting in front of a fan or parked near air conditioning. Instead, crazy south siders stood in line to get a chance to walk inside a hot steamy bakery to buy the only product on sale at 9:00……………hot rolls. You stood in line hoping and praying they wouldn’t run out before it was your turn.
My mother proudly talks about how she walked home with the bag of rolls held closely across her chest to keep them warm. When Mom arrived back home, though it was ungodly hot in the house, out came the butter, and we ate rolls.”
Street food. Businesses popping and opening up at strange hours of the night to sell their wares, and people (sometimes kids) lining up in the process.
In America, everything that is cool originates in California. The latest Los Angeles trend is being called the “hippest food” in the country: Korean barbecue tacos, out of a truck.
Here’s how it works. A former chef at some high-end LA restaurants came up with the idea of cramming cooks elbow to elbow inside a truck who head out to a pre-determined street corner at some very late hour (midnight). Meanwhile, a large group of hungry folk who fit into no single category of description awaits, unaware of where the barbecue on wheels will stop.
As the wagon barrels to its destination, the word is sent out, 2009 style, via Twitter. The diners explode into action, contacting one another, and then racing to the truck stop where they wait with great anticipation.
And they wait. And they wait. And they wait.
Sometimes for two hours.
And for what?
Kimchi (Korean pickled cabbage) in a tortilla.
Kogibbq is the current culinary sensation.
The glowing news reports about this food phenomenon claim there’s a lot to be excited about. In no particular order:
1) The use of current technology. Twitter is part of the appeal, the excitement about the unknown. Where will the wagon strike next? BAM! Head over to the corner of XXX and XXX, NOW!
2) The camaraderie. This isn’t a typical restaurant. This is a meeting place, a club, a fraternity, even an unusual pickup joint.
3) It’s ethnic. And ethnic is cool. Way cool.
4) It’s different.
5) The food is a blend of exciting, flavorful tastes.
Now, granted. I’m not a hip, trendy, cool Californian. I’m a middle-aged Midwesterner who lives in a neighborhood that just recently discovered The Twist.
Why would I want to get up around pre-Midnight and head downtown and stand around on a dark street corner and wait to be Twittered by some long-haired freak with multiple tattoo’s.
“Hey, dude, the wagon’s gonna be at Hollywood and Vine at 12:30. Bring your old lady. See ya there, man!”
I’m on record saying I eat anything, that I’m not fussy (Insert Fischer is overweight joke here). Y’know, I’d love some Korean barbecue beef with some spicy sauce in a taco. But kimchi in a quesadilla, after waiting two hours???
Wow (no exclamation point).
Ok. I’ve stood in the damp cool LA weather without a clue as to where that damn wagon will be, waiting for the phone in my pants to vibrate. (CAREFUL!).
I stand. I wait, I shiver. I am Twittered. (I never thought I would coin that word twice in a blog).
I rush to find the wagon. I stand in line. I get to window, I get my kimchi in a taco shell. I totally forget about beer-soaked brats (Well, not completely. I’m just saying that for effect). It’s now 2:00 in the morning. Some transvestite has just asked me what my sign is.
I walk away with my kimchi taco and I realize…….there is no place to go, no place to sit.
This kind of craze always starts out west and then moves to the unwashed dullards to the east. New York is desperately hoping for this magical truck to appear.
Call me dull, call me behind the times, call me square (Hell, I knew what Twiitter was). But what’s stopping some restaurant owner, keenly observing that people actually want Korean/Mexican food to just start serving it in the warm confines of their indoor eatery?
Believe me, I tip my hat to the entrepreneurial spirit of this venture. But I’ll take my buffalo chicken sandwich at Kopp’s, leaning on one of their indoor stands at 10:30 p.m. anytime.
For the, AHEM, full flavor of this hot new trend, watch ABC’s NIGHTLIINE report from this past week.
And here's a great piece about what it's like to work inside this famous taco truck.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Apr 19 2009, 09:24 PM
This week’s installment of Culinary no-no is going to be political.
Awwwww, Kev, why’d ja have ta go and do somethin’ like that for? Can’t ya just write about whether the right amount of pickles on a burger is three or five? (The answer is five)
Not this week.
Liberals. They see problems everywhere. Hundreds, nay, thousands and thousands of problems.
Yes, here a dilemma, there a dilemma, everywhere a dilemma.
But only one single, solitary solution.
People drink too much. Increase the beer tax.
People eat too much. Increase the tax on foods that are bad for you.
People smoke too much.
No need for the George Harrison You Tube. You get the message.
The food Nazi’s, food police, or whatever you want to call those useless bureaucrats (told you this would be political) have been relentless in their pursuit of demonizing your eating habits through your wallets.
They’ve been successful in their nutjob, over-regulating frenzy of removing trans fat from restaurant cooking. They have forced some restaurants to post calorie counts of their food items, hoping to play the guilt card. There have been attempts to restrict the number of fats food restaurants that can open in certain areas.
All of this nanny nonsense isn’t good enough. The latest assault has been launched on soda.
Slate, not the most conservative of publications, reports:
“Writing in the New England Journal of Medicine, Thomas Frieden and Kelly Brownell, the director of Yale's Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity, propose a penny-per-ounce excise tax on ‘sugared beverages.’ That's nearly $3 per case. Why so much? Because this tax, unlike the petty junk-food taxes of yesteryear, is designed to hurt. Its purpose is to discourage you from buying soda, on the grounds that soda, like smoking, is bad for you.”
Slate then lays out the absurd arguments being made in the “war on junk food.”
This past week marked the annual ripoff of Americans by the Internal Revenue Service. To mark the occasion, the nonpartisan Tax Foundation in Washington D.C. released the results of its 2009 nationwide survey on attitudes of American taxpayers. The survey was conducted between February 18 and 27, 2009 among 2,002 adults (aged 18 or older). State Senator Mary Lazich has written several blogs about the survey findings that you can find on her blog here.
As part of their survey, the Tax Foundation asked respondents to tell whether they support or oppose a government tax on the food items considered unhealthy such as: sugary drinks, foods with salt, and “junk food” in general.
Ready for the results? The food Nazi’s are not going to be happy.
Adults are most opposed to taxes on foods with salt (71 percent). That’s followed by opposition to taxes on sugary drinks (59 percent) and junk food (55 percent).
The Tax Foundation also writes:
“Respondents with different levels of education give very different answers when it comes to sugary drinks and junk food. Those with a high school diploma or less oppose a tax on sugary drinks, 66 percent to 27 percent, while those with a graduate degree or more favor that tax, 52 percent to 45 percent. Those with a high school diploma or less oppose a tax on junk food, 60 percent to 33 percent, while those with a graduate degree or more favor that tax, 55 percent to 43 percent. Respondents with children in their household are more likely to oppose taxes on sugary drinks and junk food (65 percent and 61 percent, respectively) than those without children (56 percent and 53 percent, respectively). New England is the only region to favor a tax on sugary drinks (52 percent to 47 percent) and junk food (56 percent to 44 percent).”
The fact is, just about EVERYBODY hates the junk that’s going on right now against junk food.
From the Tax Foundation survey:
Q662
For each, please indicate if you would favor or oppose a government tax on that item.
Strongly favor-Somewhat favor- Somewhat oppose -Strongly oppose
Sugary drinks 15%- 21%- 17% -41%
Foods with salt 16%- 17% -21% -50%
“Junk food” in general 16% -23% -15%- 41%
The taxpayers have spoken. Are government Wally Cox look-alikes listening?
Sadly, no-no.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
Is nothing sacred anymore?
In the 80’s, I interviewed major league umpire Ron Luciano, an incredibly funny guy who was on a book tour at the time. Luciano remarked during a free-wheeling discussion that Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles was selling Chablis.
The fast-talking, joke machine guffawed, “Whoever heard of Chablis at a ballpark?”
Luciano then did his beer vendor imitation, “Hey, get your Chablis, get your Chablis!" complete with the “s” pronunciation. I was in tears.
It was Luciano's contention that when you go out to see a ballgame, you want the good ol’ American standards like peanuts, popcorn, hot dogs, brats, nachos.
Now I’ve never been to Dodger Stadium, but I’ve been told by some California friends that there is no ballpark fare that compares to a Dodger Dog.
OK, I'm sold. If I ever get to Chevez Ravine, a Dodger Dog it is.
So what to have with? Fries? Chips? Onion rings? Peanuts?
Remember, this is California we're talking about.
Like Fonzie once said, a quote I've mentioned before on Culinary no-no. It's like kethcup and ice cream. Apart? WHOAA! But together? (Thumbs down).
This stuff at a ballpark? No-no thank you!
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Apr 12 2009, 08:45 AM
OK, Wisconsinites, a question for you (And if you’re not from Wisconsin, that’s ok. Read and play along).
Can you think of a food item, Wisconsinites that you probably shouldn’t order in a Wisconsin restaurant?
This is not a trick question with some weird answer. I’m particularly thinking of a bona fide, genuine, and quite popular food.
So that leaves out liver and onions.
Let’s give you just a little bit of time to figure this out.
If this was FINAL JEOPARDY, the answer would be:
FranklinNOW blogger Kevin Fischer says this food item is best not ordered in a Wisconsin restaurant.
You have :30
Ok, time’s up, and again, no strange answer like Hawaiian red snapper, although I’d be leery if that was on the menu here.
The food item I submit that Wisconsinites should refrain from ordering in a Wisconsin restaurant is a good old fashioned brat.
That’s right, a brat.
Yes, I will explain myself.
The inspiration for this Easter Sunday/Summer is almost here culinary no-no came from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s “Readers’ Restaurant Picks” blog on Friday. Each Friday, the blog asks people to write in with their favorite such and such. Here’s Friday’s post and read carefully please:
"Today is the Brewers' home opener and what many Milwaukeeans consider the first offical day of summer (or spring if you take the weather into account).
Nothing says Brewers like a beer and a brat in the parking lot of Miller Park before the game. And most likely today's is the first brat of a summer filled with cookouts and tailgates.
But when you're craving that Milwaukee staple and don't feel like cooking it yourself, what eatery do you (go) to for a juicy Wisconsin bratwurst?"
Some folks wrote in suggesting Usinger’s and Pick ‘n’ Save and some meat markets. That prompted “theatretwist” to comment:
“WILL YOU PLEASE READ AND UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION?!?! It asks ‘But when you're craving that Milwaukee staple and don't feel like cooking it yourself, what eatery do you (go) to for a juicy Wisconsin bratwurst?’ I have my favorite brats that I buy and make at home! It would be nice to know an ESTABLISHMENT that makes a good one. So who does?”
He or she was right. The question asks about restaurants that serve brats. And there are plenty.
The home run comment then came from “buckb” who nailed it:
“only tourists eat brats at restaurants in WI. if you're a local you eat them off your grill, at others' cookouts or at the ballpark enough that you don't eat them when you're out.”
BAM!
This is not to suggest that a brat served at say, the Chancery or the Brat Stop wouldn’t be tasty. It’s just not the same!
That sausage platter on the menu at Mader’s and Karl Ratzsch’s…..you know who orders it? People from Connecticut.
Nothing is as good as rolling out the grill and placing those little beauties over hot coals and cooking them yourself, the way you want them, and then served the way you want them with the right bun and accompaniments.
In Wisconsin, we know brats. Non-Badgers don’t. So when they come to visit, naturally that brat in column B sounds more tantalizing than a tuna melt.
There are plenty of great places to BUY brats and grill them yourself or for barbecue get-together’s. Don’t order one at a German, or any restaurant for that matter.
Here’s the Journal Sentinel blog on the subject.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
More evidence that ethanol is bad news.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Apr 5 2009, 09:29 PM
Ponder the following.
Suppose you take......
And combine them with.....
Is that good or bad?
Now don't think too hastily. Again, you've got....
And you toss in some of these...
The conventional practice for growing table grapes for quite some time has been to utilize spiders as an alternative to risky pesticides to ward off many other intrusive insects and mites.
Can you guess where this is headed? You got it…..arachnophobia in the supermarket.
If that sounds like some myth that would be debunked on snopes.com, it’s not. The threat is very real and has been discovered in America and elsewhere.
As the demand by consumers for organic fruits and vegetables has increased, so has the use of spiders in vineyards to prey on creepy crawlers that might kill crops.
There seems to be agreement among industry experts that the combination of grapes and spiders works. But it’s not foolproof.
Most vineyard predators are spiders, but an increasing number of those spiders are the black widow variety. That’s black widow as in dangerous, even fatal. What’s more, as powerful as black widow spiders are, they do little, if anything to protect grapes.
As Gourmet Magazine points out, one Internet grocer actually cautions would-be purchasers that their grapes might have cobwebs. The yucky factor is starting to impact the California grape trade.
The grape industry claims it’s been spending millions and trying to cope with the black widow dilemma since the 1990’s. For now, there are few answers except that greater care is needed during packaging. Inspectors can’t catch them all, so spiders in grapes at the supermarket isn’t some phony scare. And if there’s a cutback on pesticides, we’ll be told other bugs will turn up.
What does that mean to you, the consumer? As Gourmet Magazine writes:
“As organic produce becomes more prevalent and the amount of chemical pesticides and insecticides on farms is reduced, it’s almost certain that more insects will show up on food—both in the fields and on the shelves.”
I think I’ll just pass on the grapes in a bag and stick to jam on my morning toast.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
What’s definitely out this Easter when it comes to candy? The Journal Sentinel this weekend reports, “Retro flavors such as horehound, anise, peppermint, sassafras and black licorice.” Also, “exotic chocolate flavors such as jalapeño, chipotle and curry, and sugar-free candies.”
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By Kevin Fischer
Wednesday, Apr 1 2009, 05:23 PM
This past Sunday’s entry dealt with barbecue, specifically the barbecue pork sandwich, or “heaven on a bun” as I referred to it.
The Charlotte Observer reports on a different type of Hog Heaven; are you ready, a new spa barbecue.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Mar 29 2009, 08:50 PM
Regional cuisine is sacred.
In New York, pizza is nowhere near as thick as a pie in Chicago.
My wife, Jennifer and I had just arrived at the incredible Opryland Hotel in Music City, Nashville, Tennessee. The short flight from Milwaukee put us at our destination in the Volunteer State at about lunch time, so we meandered to the food court.
“Gotta have Corky’s,” I told Jennifer. Corky’s at the Opryland was one of many locations based on the famed Memphis barbecue restaurant. This was strictly the stand in line and order variety of quick food stops.
We both ordered the barbecue sandwich, quite possibly the finest sandwich in the world. Yes, it’s that good.
First, the perfect bun. Nice and soft.
Then, the young gal behind the counter piles on the luscious, picture perfect pulled pork. If Rembrandt did food, he would have painted Corky’s pork.
And then, oh this isn’t fair, out of nowhere appears a squeeze bottle with barbecue sauce, a tantalizing red hue, that cannot be duplicated anywhere else on this planet, and it is squirted lovingly in nice circles around and around on top of the mountain of pork.
BEEP!
BEEP!
BEEP!
We interrupt this blog to alert the author to return to appropriate topic immediately. Readers have been led to believe this entry is about a culinary no-no. Thus far, the post has been anything but. Please adhere to the high quality standards of said blog and return to the mission at hand.
The management of FranklinNOW.com
I’m gettin’ to that part!
I’m gettin’ to it!
Now before we tell the Corky’s employee what sides and drinks we wanted to order, we made it clear, as directed by the signage inside the establishment and our faint but adequate knowledge of Southern cuisine that she was NOT to go any further with that work of art.
Take a look at the Corky’s menu under sandwiches. Read the description.
You're in the South, Yankee, where they're a might bit serious about BBQ. You don't open up your yap, and you're getting that beautiful barbecue pork sandiwch served like this:
With cole slaw, not on the side, but right smack dab in the middle of all that wonderful sauce and pig in between those nice, soft, chewy slices of bun.
I admit, I was inspired to write about this particular concoction by an LA Times review this week of a BBQ restaurant that serves authentic Southern barbecue, including this item:
When in Rome, do what the Romans do.
But may I also quote that great philosopher Arthur Fonzarelli who once said that ketchup and ice cream, when set apart are great, but put them together? WHOA! Thumbs down. Yuckimundo.
This is one of those culinary no-no's like ones I've wriiten about in the past like ketchup on a brat or green peppers on a pizza that are highly subjective.
At the risk of insulting anyone below the Mason-Dixon line, don't ruin that succulent sandwich with cabbage. Leave it on the side, thank you very much.
If you insist, can the cole slaw be the oily and not the creamy variety? But that's another blog.
CULINARY NO-NO EXTRA (IS IT EVER!!!)
You know, this burger might be ok if it only had some Stadium Secret Sauce.
ANOTHER CULINARY NO-NO EXTRA
No explanation necessary.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Mar 22 2009, 10:08 PM
You remember the classic game show, “Password,” don’t you?
I say, “Teleprompter,” and your response, naturally would be, "television."
You'd be wrong, of course. The correct password would be, “Obama.”
I’m thinking of a particular password. Throughout this culinary no-no, there will be all kinds of clues. They won’t be the one-word type under the Password rules, but every bit of information you’re about to read should, if you can figure out my thought process, help you come up with the “password.”
Capiche?
Jenna Bergen is the author of this book:
In this great public service to all dating couples, Bergen analyzes one of the most perplexing dilemmas confronting society today: why is it that whenever a gal enters into a brand new, exciting, promising relationship with some guy, she blimps up?
I guess I never heard of that one, you know, the “I got really fat because I’ve got this new en fuego beau syndrome.”
It’s Bergen’s contention that a woman head over heels about her latest hunk suddenly forgets all those incredibly healthy eating habits she obviously had been exercising until “I think he just might be Mr. Right” came along. Carrot sticks seem to transform into carrot cake. Why? True love you ninny. See that stud on her arm? It’s stupid’s fault.
That poor woman on cloud nine. She has no other choice but to emerge into a “before” ad for Weight Watchers. Seems only natural, doesn’t it. Gal meets guy. Guy is nice to gal. Gal flips for guy. Gal needs to have someone take the air out of her dress.
Bergen is an author, meaning she must know what the hell she’s talking about. Generally speaking, the woman who falls deeply, passionately, madly in love has no clue what she’s doing. Add in this critical factor. Romeo would turn any dietician’s hair gray and send their blood pressure skyrocketing. Johnny Angel eats like a heart attack in a bag. Therefore, the object of his affection does, too.
Bergen’s solution: Ladies, you’ve got to stand by your man and get him to eat healthier because it’s oh so clear he’s killing you. He’s the one shoving filet mignons and banana splits down your throat. If you love him, make HIM change.
You’re gaining weight? You’re getting unhealthy? No, no, no. no. no. HE’S the one that needs to get healthier.
Bergen says guys come in all shapes and sizes and categories. Depending on where he fits in dictates what approach needs to be taken by woman getting fatter because they are now dating.
If your man is one who’s never a weight problem despite being on a Big Mac diet, but is now battling the bulge because he like, has a job, then Bergen suggests
that
you
slowly
carefully
explain
to
the
sexy
but
dumb
lug
that
he
needs
to
eat
more
fruits
and
veggies.
Start making him healthy meals. Because nothing is more romantic than steamed fish and broiled broccoli. Or is it broiled fish and steamed broccoli? I don't know. I'm a guy. I don't eat that crap.
Get him to go to the gym. Hell, even get him a personal trainer. “Darling, it’s not because I can’t fit into my old clothes anymore. It’s because I love you.”
And remember all those old dishes you used to love before you met him? Mmmmmm, those wonderful salads and meatless pastas? Convince him to start eating more of those.
In a nutshell, here’s Bergen’s mindset:
1) Ladies, congratulations. You’re in love.
2) You’re also getting out of shape.
3) Those damn guys!
4) It’s not your fault. It’s theirs.
5) Teach them.
6) Train them.
7) Treat them condescendingly like little puppies.
8) You will listen to me.
9) You will eat this.
10) You will join a health club.
11) Why?
12) Because you made me fat.
The culinary no-no: If a woman gains weight, how much blame do we put on Cupid as opposed to Ms. Shove It In My Face?
Okay.
Have you figured out the “password” yet?
The “password” is:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
“NAG”
And that means, bye bye boyfriend.
Here's an excerpt from Bergen's book.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
Have any idea what this is?
It's a creation of Milwaukee culinary genius Sanford D'Amato.
But even Pete Rose struck out every now and then.
Two thumbs down.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Mar 15 2009, 08:40 PM
Green beer on St. Patrick's Day.
Photo: Associatedcontent.com
Now sure and you're not gonna be goin' on your blog and be sayin' green beer on the holy day of St. Patrick's Day is taboo, are ya?
No, I'm not. At least not in this country.
In the year of 1992, me mother and I were in Dublin on St. Patrick's Day. My dear sweet mom, God bless her heart, had always wanted to see Ireland. Before I was about to get married (to my first wife as it turned out), I decided as a 1991 Christmas present to take the incredible woman to Ireland.
March 17th in Ireland is, to a much larger degree than in the good ol' USA, a sacred holiday. And I do mean holiday. Schools and most businesses are closed. The St. Patrick's parade that goes on and on for at least three hours or more, when completed and only then leads to the opening of the doors of pubs and restaurants.You won't find a single green beer to save your God-fearing soul.
Everyone who stumbles out of a Wisconsin pub on Tuesday knows bloody well that the proprietor has slipped some green food coloring in to the cheapest beer on the premises. Does it really matter? Mother Macree, of course not. It's all in good fun.
But what about other concoctions? I'm talking about creative potables that are designed to be green.
In this day and age we have taken the martini and have turned the classic cocktail into alcohol's Baskin Robbins times twenty. Want a chocolate banana cherry watermelon pineapple upside down cake version, shaken not stirred? Coming right up.
Martini-palooza has turned out to be extremely popular. Why not do the same with Irish whiskey? Because there's something about messing with the stalwart Irish whiskey that is sacrilegious.
When I traveled to Ireland with my mother, I brought back bottles of 10-year old Bushmills for gifts for the guys who would stand up to my wedding.
Who would be so stupid as to fool with quality Irish whiskey in order to cocktail-ize it for an occasion like St. Patrick's Day? Idiot fool Americans, that's who.
In New York establishments and probably elsewhere as well, instead of just pouring this nectar as it was mean to be served, straight up, mixologists are tossing in all kinds of garbage, even whole eggs. In Ireland, the natives have to be holding wakes.
On Tuesday, everyone's Irish. That means, unfortunately, that poor bartenders will have to put up with amateurs insistent that they whip up something cool and neat as long as it's green or has Irish something or other in it.
Don't be dumb on St. Patty's Day. Have a green beer, some honest to goodness Irish whiskey, or some Bailey's with nothing, I mean nothing in it.
I agree with this New York Times writer: Wear the green but don't drink it.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
Here's last year's St. Patrick's Day culinary no-no.
ANOTHER CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
Recession? What recession?
AND ONE MORE CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
A loyal reader of This Just In writes:
"I love to cook and eat, but I was starting to feel ill by the time I got to the 6th page of pix. I could go no further."
Here is what he was referring to.
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By Kevin Fischer
Saturday, Mar 14 2009, 11:39 PM
Just a few short weeks ago, Culinary no-no #101 focused on our Socialist president wanting to stick the government’s Jimmy Durante-size nose into what we eat.
I wrote, “Our nation is discovering that Barack Obama is the liberal’s liberal. The new president in just a few short weeks has called for the greatest expansion of the scope of government in our country’s history. There isn’t a component of the average American’s lifestyle that President Obama doesn’t want to intrude upon, and that includes eating.”
Earlier today, President Obama chose his candidate to run the Food and Drug Administration and also is forming a Food Safety Working Group, a brand new bureaucracy. Undoubtedly, we now have what amounts to a food czar.
How well this will work out remains to be seen. I am not optimistic. The feds could mess up a one car funeral.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Mar 8 2009, 09:34 PM
In the classic Disney Pixar film, "Ratatouille," dreaded critic Anton Ego, expecting the worst, is instead surprisingly swept back to a wonderful childhood memory when dining at Gusteau's. (The video runs 4:49 but for the purposes of this Culinary no-no, you only need to watch the first 2:00).
Even the nasty, cold-hearted Ego melted at that culinary flashback.
I’ve often blogged about nostalgic topics, and thoughts of food can be powerful at bringing back memories of a much younger, simpler, joyous time. Incredibly, entrees that seemed forced or thrust upon us by mom that at the least were taken for granted or got reactions ranging from disappointment to turned up noses are now, in some circles considered gourmet dishes.
Consider a few examples.
While this was usually a pleaser, the truth is it always came out of a can.
At the award-winning Jiko at the Animal Kingdom Lodge in Walt Disney World, an oak grilled filet mignon is served with a red wine reduction sauce and, you guessed it, macaroni and cheese.
How about....
You can get 'em all kinds of fancy ways now.
I recall having some of these at Picasso at the Bellagio Hotel In Las Vegas.
When I was a kid, braised short ribs were a cheap alternative to steak.
And we can't forget this classic...
If you ever visit a Hard Rock Cafe, you won't go wrong with their version.
My guess is that most adults today would have no reservations about ordering comfort food like short ribs, meatloaf, mac and cheese, or mashed potatoes at grown up restaurants. Understanding that food is subjective and everyone has different tastes, there are still some concoctions that lead yours truly, one of the most non picky eaters on the planet, to shake his head. Here’s another entrée that might trigger some dining room table memories of a much younger time:
That's a dressed up cube steak. Cube steak is made from....
Round steak
This tough and stringy cut of meat has to be pounded and pounded and pounded, soaked and marinated, even brined before it even comes close to being edible or flavorable.
From missvickie.com:
“To make a cube steak, the butcher generally takes an ordinary, flavorful but tough round steak cut from the top or bottom round ,and runs it through a butcher's tenderizer once or twice, turning it almost into hamburger meat. This machine is sometimes called a cube steak machine, it was invented in 1941, and leaves cube-shaped imprints on the surface of the meat, thus the name ‘cube steak,’ In some areas butchers are allowed by law to piece together meat scraps and push them through the cube steak machine, making them into one piece of meat. Unfortunately the package label doesn't tell you if your cube steak was made from a single relatively high-grade cut of round steak, or unidentifiable scraps of meat that have been 'knitted' together in the cube steak machine.”In true retro style, cube steaks are enjoying a resurgence, helped by a struggling economy. Kim Severson of the NY Times writes, "The cube steak is suddenly one of the hottest cuts of beef in the country, according to figures from the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association. The amount of cube steak sold during the last quarter of 2008 was up by almost 10 percent over the same period a year earlier. The overall amount of beef sold went up only 3 percent."
Severson writes in the Times about how nuts she is about cube steaks. I side witth folks she quotes that have dissenting opinions:
“I feel sad and sick whenever I hear the term ‘cube steak,’ ” said a friend whose mother used to bake them into greasy, grim casseroles studded with string beans. The cube steak represents all that was unstylish and lacking in her childhood.
Bill Niman, the boutique beef man from California, has a strong reaction to the cube steak, too. It’s not all bad. He appreciates that the cube steak once served as the convenience food for an entire generation. And he likes that the tenderizing method helps make use of the whole animal, which is especially helpful for small-scale grass ranchers with tiny profit margins.
But when Mr. Niman fixed one for himself recently, it only served to remind him of the gloopy, tomato-soaked Swiss steaks of his childhood.
‘I fed it to the dogs,’ he said."
Read more from the NY Times.
If I want to stir pleasant childhood food memories, pass the mac and cheese, braise some ribs. Heck, I'll even take fried bologna.
Cube steaks don't excite me, no no.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
Jan Uebelherr wrote about some money saving tips in Saturday's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Here's one of them:
Save the scraps: (Erin) Huffstetler (who writes for about.com) likes to save leftovers from meals and food preparation (stray chopped vegetables, that teaspoon of tomato paste, gravy or broth that's left when a recipe calls for nearly a can of the stuff). Into the freezer it all goes. When she has enough to feed her family of four, she makes Freezer Soup.
"I'll just add some broth, and improvise with some spices," she says. "That's a whole meal you didn't have to buy."
I think I'll just pop for a can of Campbell's, thank you.
ONE MORE CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
This one is self-explanatory.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Mar 1 2009, 08:40 PM
U.S. first lady Michelle Obama (sleeveless, I might add) laughs with White House executive chef Cristeta Comerford as she gives a kitchen preview for the Governors dinner at the White House in Washington February 22, 2009. Photo: Reuters
Our nation is discovering that Barack Obama is the liberal’s liberal.
The new president in just a few short weeks has called for the greatest expansion of the scope of government in our country’s history. There isn’t a component of the average American’s lifestyle that President Obama doesn’t want to intrude upon, and that includes eating.
According to the mainstream media, just about everyone is deliriously happy about the Obama victory and now bows at his altar. Count elitist, snobby, look down their noses chefs in that crowd. They view an Obama White House as their ticket to pontificate as to how America should eat.
The conventional wisdom in some 4-star kitchens goes like this: George W. Bush was a pork rind chewing, unhealthy, stay at home eater-in-chief who considered restaurants off limits. Barack Obama is an adventurous soul who could teach all of us the finer points of dining.
Gag me with a spoon.
Despite many websites that claim George Bush prefers Mexican food, the London Sun reports his favorite dish was something else.
Turns out Obama also loves pizza.
Ahhhhh, but the Great One is more than sauce on pressed out dough. He is much more than that. Obama is not afraid to experiment, to choose healthy meals made form healthy ingredients inspired by local farmer’s markets.
Anything wrong with that? Not at all. When it translates into greater government bureaucracy and regulation….then it’s a problem. The top cheerleaders: chefs at high, higher, highest end restaurants, one who admits he’s an elitist. They want less government support for large corporation farms and increased subsidies for smaller farms that produce what they consider to be healthier food, even if, as they concede, most won’t be able to afford to dine at their establishments anyway.
Elitist snobbery doesn’t begin to describe how arrogant these high-priced cooks really are.
They want to dictate how we should eat? Dan Barber, the chef at New York's Blue Hill restaurant according to the Associated Press cooked a $500-a-plate meal for incoming Obama aides and other guests at a small charity fundraiser the night before the inauguration. It included passed hors d'oeuvres of raw carrots, lettuce and cauliflower.
“Hog snouts left over from slaughter were used as a garnish on a plate of Maine sea scallops.”
Yummy.
I wonder what hog snouts at Barber’s restaurant go for, if they’re even offered?
At the very least, according to these sudden Obama advisors, the nation’s first family could be doing a great service if they, like those announcements on some Milwaukee radio stations the past 50 years of the daily menu at MPS, would just tell us each and every day what Barack, Michelle, Malia and Sasha are eating.
I don’t need to know or want to know what the Obama’s are having this Thursday or wait with baited breath about their bill of fare. The same would have held true for the Bush’s.
I also don’t need the Obama’s or the federal government telling me what’s healthy, or what to buy at a farmer’s market.
As for some of America’s chefs who are orgasmic about Obama, I would politely suggest you save your pomposity for the next soufflé you concoct and keep it there.
Here are more details from the Associated Press.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
One of the awards I received while News Director at WTMJ-AM that I am very proud of was for our news department's ongoing coverage of the Cryptosporidium outbreak.
Back then, it was considered scandalous if bottled water companies were caught selling tap water.
Today in New York, it's all the rage.
ANOTHER CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
"Everybody burps."
So says Dr. Tedd Mitchell in the USA WEEKEND insert in your Sunday paper today.
Everybody. That would mean Douglas MacArthur, General Patton, Emily Post, Timothy Dolan, all Catholic nuns and the Fonz.
Is burping really all that bad? The father of a young gal I dated when I was in my early 20's (Mary S., if you're reading, please send me an e-mail) used to say, "Better to belch and feel the shame than hold it in and feel the pain."
If this is an occasional
(PAUSE)
problem for you, read USA WEEKEND.
Then enjoy the late, great George Carlin expound on the topic beginning at 2:20 into the following (until 5:15) as he describes his old classmate, John Pigman.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Feb 22 2009, 09:00 PM
When I first met former MenomoneeFallsNOW blogger Karen Taubenheim, she made a comment I thought was odd. Some time ago, MyCommunityNOW editor Mark Maley had convened a meeting of the community bloggers. Once the meeting concluded, seated near the back of the room, Karen and I and other bloggers talked about our blogs and writing experiences following the meeting.
One young blogger, and forgive me I can’t remember who, told me that even though he rarely agreed with me, he enjoyed reading This Just In. A few other remarks were made, and then Taubenheim chimed in, smiling.
“I really like the culinary no-no’s.”
With raised eyebrows, I responded profoundly.
“You what?”
“I really like the culinary no-no’s.”
There was a definite echo in the room.
“You have got to be joking.”
Taubenheim also said she wished that I posted earlier in the day and hated waiting at times until Sunday night to read. Poor woman.
The weekly Sunday blog had only been around for a few months, so I was surprised to hear Taubenheim, whose work I enjoyed and respected, single out from all my work this feature that started out as a complete whim.
Father’s Day 2007, a beautiful summer day, I wrote about grilling brats. And eating brats. And topping those brats. I was inspired by my wife, Jennifer who, in my admittedly unscientific opinions, ruins brats by squirting……..ketchup on them.
No no no. Eureka! We had a blog title.
Other dining taboo’s quickly came to mind. The original idea was to take this concept only a few months, till the end of summer and then pull the plug. There are more food blogs than stimulus dollars, but not that many (one?) that go the opposite direction.
Then the unexpected happened. People started reading Culinary no-no. Lots of folks. Why? To this day, I honestly don’t know, but this effort is consistently one of my most-widely read pieces each week.
Here are the five most popular Culinary no-no’s:
5) Culinary no-no #53: This one had an “earthy” flavor
4) Culinary no-no #59: How can a fish fry be a no-no?
3) Culinary no-no #74: Do I really want to know? Must I know?
2) Culinary no-no #52: Possibly the most serious, most important no-no
1) Culinary no-no #60: BAM!
The Culinary no-no that generated the most comments: Culinary no-no #42.
Thank you very much for your continued support and interest. I am gratified, if not totally surprised.
Here’s Culinary no-no #100:
Once a week she visited our 7th grade class. A sweet, charming, bubbly lady, she hailed originally from Cincinnati, but had an accent thicker than Scarlett O’Hara’s. Her mission: to groom a bunch of 13-year old kids.
Because after all, as she often drawled, “You wanna be nice, good lookin’ and clean all over, dontcha, huhhhhhhhh?????!!!!”
Manners. We had to learn and practice good manners.
As hysterical as this may sound to some of you, I was an extremely good boy. To this day, I always try to be a perfect gentleman. I owe it all to that woman.
She hammered proper etiquette into us like a drill sergeant with a perpetual smile. Over and over and over and over and over again. Want another analogy? It was Vince Lombardi-like. Then came the real test, the time to execute.
Maybe she could sense that I was not an insensitive kid. Whatever the reason, when she issued an assignment pairing up a boy with a girl to put the grooming lessons into practice, I got matched with Sharon Clock.
Everyone in the 7th grade knew that I had a thing for Debbie Huck and vice versa since the 1st grade. Debbie was pretty, very smart and sweet, and built beyond her 7th grade status. Sharon Clock was short, dumpy, fat, and had a silver front tooth. Kids didn’t dislike her. They just pretty much ignored her.
Instead of Debbie Huck, for the next several weeks, I would shadow Sharon. I pulled out her chair. I held the door for her. I hung up her coat. I held her coat when she put it on. I carried her books. I talked nice to her.
“Is there anything else I can do for you, Sharon? Is there anything I can get you, Sharon? Do you have any other request before I kill myself, Sharon?”
When you’re in the 7th grade, you possess Superman-like peripheral vision and hearing. You can see and hear the smirks and laughter as you help Little Miss Fatty into her seat.
At a Friday afternoon in-classroom party, the occasion escapes me, other kids were spinning records and dancing and laughing and joking.
“Would you like to go hang out with other kids, Sharon?”
"No, not really, Kevin.”
“Well, what do you wanna do?”
“Are you serious, Kevin?”
Her words echoed through my brain: "You wanna be nice, good lookin’ and clean all over, dontcha, huhhhhhhhh?????!!!!”
“Sure, Sharon.”
“I’d like to play chess.”
“Excuse me?”
“Chess. I want to play chess."
It’s amazing how a 7th grader’s thoughts can quickly turn from good grooming to homicide in a matter of seconds. So we played chess, and I tried to ignore the 45’s blaring in the background, and the laughing, and the snickering.
This is a lengthy lead-up to the point that there are obvious differences between the sexes. That’s a very good thing. As such, in certain situations, the sexes should be treated differently. That, too, is a very good thing. This includes treatment at restaurants.
Since Fred Flintstone was ordering racks of ribs at outdoor diners, it has been customary that women and men are not served the same way.
Women get menus first.
Orders are taken from women first.
Women are presented their plates first.
Women get their plates cleared first.
Did you know that at most higher-end restaurants, software allows servers to make a note of the places at tables that dishes are going to and if the diner is female? For example, a server can punch in, “L” for “lady.”
Some upscale restaurants are moving away from gender-conscious treatment of patrons. Everybody’s the same. If a guy gets his steak served before the gal gets her broiled fish, is it cataclysmic? Of course not. I can and would argue it’s still wrong (You hear that, Mrs. Cincinnati, whoever you are?!).
One New York restaurant owner has informed staff to try to read tables to see if they’d care or not about the whole gender treatment deal. That’s pretty risky, if you ask me, especially at a time when restaurants are begging for every patron that comes through their doors. Most restaurateurs, I submit, must and should consider sex differences if they want to be successful.
NY Times dining writer Frank Bruni says these old ways could be considered, “chivalrous” or “chauvinistic.” How about, “proper?”
There’s more. Is it wrong for the proprietor of a fine dining establishment to take the female gender into consideration when designing menus, choosing the menu wording, selecting the color the dining rooms are painted, or setting the restaurant’s temperature?
Gender matters. Bruni of the NY Times concedes:
“I’m regularly struck by that difference when friends hit me up for restaurant recommendations.
Men rarely ask me about lighting. Women frequently do, wanting reassurance that it isn’t too bright.
Women more often ask if a menu has leaner, healthier options. Men more often ask if they can get a decent steak.”
The same holds true, Bruni writes, for restaurant décor:
“At the Greenwich Village restaurant Elettaria, where the bound linen dinner menu evokes a diary and elements of the décor bring to mind a dollhouse, I spotted more women than men.
At the Greenwich Village restaurant Cru, decorated in clubby brown tones and distinguished by a wine list that lets high rollers rack up breathtaking bills, I spotted more men than women.”
While women should be treated differently, they also should not get poorer service simply because they’re female.
Do they? You bet. But could that be because they’re their own worst enemies? Oh, yes.
They don’t spend as much, they yak and yak and yak and tie up a table, and they don’t tip as well as men. So what goes through a waiter or waitress’s mind when a group of 10 women get seated?
Bruni of the NY Times writes, “Although the goal in many public places and in much of public life is to treat men and women equally, most upscale restaurants haven’t reached that point.”
Yet.
That’s a good thing.
Let’s keep it that way.
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By Kevin Fischer
Friday, Feb 20 2009, 06:07 PM
Until Sunday’s 100th installment, some appetizers.
The economy has some chain restaurants skimping.
And I’m not a picky eater. I like just about anything. But if I had to think about and come up with the five worst foods in the world, I’m sure I could write that list.
Meredith Ford-Goldman did.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Feb 15 2009, 08:35 PM
My Sunday morning regimen is pretty standard.
Wake up. Look at Sunday paper. Blog. Go to usher at weekly mass at church. Have late breakfast at Meyer’s Restaurant and Bar in Greenfield.
At Meyer’s, I’ve come to know the entire staff, from owner Larry Meyer right on down to the busboys. And yes, I call them busboys.
These two young guys are like well-oiled machines. Once patrons leave, they dive on the tables like Jason on a sex-craved teenager in, “Friday the 13th.”
BAM! Before you know it, the table is filled with new patrons.
I see the same lightning-quick attention at the Greek family restaurants like Omega at 27th & Morgan.
These busboys or bussers or whatever you want to call them may be lower than a gopher’s basement on the restaurant hierarchy, but they are extremely valuable. They not only clear dirty dishes and get tables ready for the impatient mob waiting in the lobby, they restock condiments, fold napkins, haul ice, clean the kitchen, mop floors, pour coffee and water. In essence, they free up the wait staff so it can take care of you quickly and more efficiently.
Problem.
Big problem.
The economy.
Some restaurants in Wisconsin and all across the country are making the foolish, but sometimes necessary decision to cut busboys. The ramifications add up to a much less pleasant dining experience for patrons. You will wait longer for a table. You will wait longer for your plates to be cleared. You will wait longer for your check. You will wait longer for a dirty knife or fork to be replaced. You will wait longer for that second cup of coffee or for that ice water you requested.
There is also the issue of the minimum wage. Last week, the state Senate approved an increase in the minimum wage. The Democrat-controlled Assembly may follow suit, possibly leading to the bill being signed into law by Governor Doyle. That will mean added expenses to running a restaurant business. Who will cut? Who will lose their jobs? Wait staff? Busboys? Both. And then what happens to restaurant service?
Culinary no-no: Understanding (as I have blogged recently) that times are tough for the restaurant business, why risk turning off the customers that are still showing up by firing busboys?
The Wall Street Journal has more.
CULINARY NO-NO EXTRA
I swear the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel editors instruct their columnists to be as ludicrous and bizarre as possible because some of the stuff they write is just plain laughable. And that includes the food section.
Yes, I read the papers. The economy is in a downturn. I can’t even spell “lobster” or “filet” these days. But I don’t see people with coaster wagons in bread lines, like in the 1930’s, do you?
The fact is America’s so-called, by definition, “poor” have cars, TV’s, cell phones, stereos, iPod’s, leather jackets, and athletic shoes with fancy labels. Oh, and they eat, too.
Seriously, do you know of any family of four that eats the same meal three or four nights in a row? That’s what Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Food Editor Nancy Stohs is recommending. This week, Stohs thought she was doing a tremendous public service by suggesting ways to save on meals, including some nauseous slop called potato peel pie.
She apparently got the idea from her book club. That leads me to wonder what else they might be reading. Ptomaine for Dummies?
Stohs also wrote that rotisserie chicken can be spread over several days:
"First night: Serve chicken as your entrée.
Second night: Make pot pie.
Third night: Make soup."
For her next brilliant column, Stohs will tell how a family of four can actually make a rotisserie chicken purchased at Sendik’s or Pick ‘n’ Save last for an entire three days. In fact, I challenge her to attempt this at home if she honestly and truly believes this is such a wonderful idea.
“Gather round everybody! We’re going to take turns passing the carcass and picking off the leftover meat!”
It has to be an absolute miracle. How do we actually live from day to day without those wise sages at the Journal Sentinel.
NEXT WEEK: CULINARY NO-NO #100
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Feb 8 2009, 08:55 PM
Last month, Wisconsin Commerce Secretary Richard Leinenkugel delivered a grim message at the Wisconsin Restaurant Association’s quarterly board meeting at the Best Western Midway Hotel Riverfront Resort in La Crosse. Leinenkugel said 2009 would be “very difficult” for Wisconsin restaurants.
Wisconsin Restaurant Association President and CEO Ed Lump told the La Crosse Tribune that the industry is flat, in other words, slow. Lots of new dining establishments have opened, but in a rough economy, Lump says that only means “the pie is sliced pretty thin.”
The National Restaurant Association reports industry sales are expected to reach $566 billion in 2009, with the industry employing 13 million individuals in 945,000 restaurant-and-foodservice outlets nationwide. Overall restaurant industry sales will increase in current dollars by 2.5 percent over 2008 figures.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that those numbers translate to an inflation-adjusted decline of 1.0 percent.
Technomic, a Chicago consultant has been tracking the performance of the food service industry since 1972 and expects 2009 will be the industry’s worst year ever.
The first quarter of 2009 will be especially challenging for restaurants when patronage drops after the heavy holiday season as cash-strapped diners are thinking about their wallets, tax time, and not to mention New Year eating resolutions.
“People need to understand how tight the margins are in the restaurant business,” Alfred Portale, the chef and one of the owners of Gotham Bar and Grill in New York told the New York Times.
Every dollar, every butt in a restaurant chair seat counts.
So what’s a restaurant to do to survive?
Simple, according to New York restaurateur Stephen Hanson. The man who closed two restaurants in Manhattan says “the consumer will just shut down” in 2009.
Unless….
Unless…
Unless restaurant owners decide to get physical.
The NY Times reports Hanson told a group of his colleagues at a Manhattan conference in January that this is the key to keeping their businesses: “You need to hug the customer.”
What does that mean? Whatever it takes, go the extra mile to go out of your way for the customer. That could mean discounts, providing more for less, being less demanding (we’ll get into that later), throwing in some perks.
It starts from the second patrons walk in your establishment. Personally, I’d have the equivalent of Miss America standing at there to greet diners, dressed, how I shall put this…provocatively. But whoever is stationed there to deliver the all-important first impression, the welcome better be friendly, warm, natural, and real.
If a caller phones in asking for a reservation that simply can’t be met, do not sadly reply that you’re sorry, goodbye. Implore the caller to book another day and/or time. Do not hang up before you get a contact number to call back in case a cancellation results in an open table.
Wait staff, and this is tricky because it borders between attentive service and being too bothersome, need to check as efficiently as possible that everything, and I mean everything is OK.
How about some wine discounts or special lists highlighting vintages that won’t cost a house payment?
Have some early bird specials….discounts at those early hours when no one’s walking in and wait staff is folding napkins.
If you’re that stuffy (and not many restaurants are these days so you can walk in looking like a bum to one of the best places in town), think about easing up and being less demanding on that dress code. To be honest, I hate this suggestion, but in the long run, if the guy spends a bundle and tips well (odds are he won’t), does it matter if he’s wearing a tie?
Free parking? I like this idea, being used at the Chicago restaurant Everest. Drive 15 miles or less to Everest and you can get luxury car service for $15.
And would it kill you to send a plate of onion strings or whatever to the table of a regular patron? Not too long ago, I dined at Casa di Giorgio, my favorite Franklin restaurant. My good friend, Joliet, a waiter there whom I’ve known since his days at the Boulevard Inn, knowing that I liked both the clam chowder and the minestrone, brought them both to my table. It did not kill their business.
Restaurants have been trying to cope with rising food costs, but it's not enough now that the economy has gotten even worse. W ork harder. Be nicer. Give deals. Lots and lots of deals.
The culinary no-no is that if you don’t hug real good and tight, your customers aren’t going to hug back.
More from the NY Times.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS.
This one speaks for itself.  A woman washes a snake on January 25, in the Yopougon neighborhood of Abidjan, where a restaurant, "Restaurant du Zoo," serves African game. Patrons can eat crocodile, python soup or braised crocodile or viper dishes for about 4.5 euros (6 US dollars) each. The animals come from all over Ivory Coast, but their origin is kept secret by restaurant owner Felix Boussin. KAM BOU SIA, AFP/GETTY IMAGES) DON'T FORGET THAT IN JUST TWO WEEKS, IT'S CULINARY NO-NO #100!
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Feb 1 2009, 08:30 AM
Are you going to or hosting a Super Bowl party today? If you are, you’re going to eat, and eat, and eat. When the game ends, Americans will have consumed 156 billion calories. Today is the second biggest eating day of the year. (Thanksgiving is #1).
Since everybody is watching their weight because of all those New Year resolutions (insert huge guffaw here), there are a kazillion websites encouraging healthy Super Bowl snacks. Take this one, for example, that opens with:
“Just because its Super Bowl time doesn’t mean you have to pig out on chicken wings and nachos.”
Excuse me, but yes it does!
“We here at Twirlit have got some great suggestions for the healthiest, tastiest and most recession proof snacks this Super Bowl Sunday:
1) Spicy Asian Lettuce Wraps- You can’t go wrong with sweet-n-spicy chicken wrapped in a crispy lettuce bun.
2) Plain yogurt and fruit cups w/acai berry- Plain yogurt makes a great substitute for whipped cream and acai berries are the new diet superfood.
3) Veggie platter w/celery, carrots, broccoli and low fat dip- Substitute those greasy old potato chips and head over to the produce section for some healthy alternatives.”
My response?
Then there’s the food police and their all-knowing advice. Eat this but don’t eat that.
This could be the worst: Animal rights advocates masquerading as cancer sympathizers in an effort to get you to eat tofu during the game.
I congratulate Center for Consumer Freedom Director of Research David Martosko who said, “Super Bowl Sunday is about watching football and eating food, not hugging cows and saving chickens. This phony-baloney Cancer Project group shouldn’t try to ruin the big game with a health scare. I’m throwing a flag on this whole nonsense campaign. Fifteen yards—personal foul for unnecessary buzzkill.”
Here are the details.
Wolfgang Puck says, “Live, love and eat!” I say eat, whatever the hell you want: cheese puffs, dips, meatballs, cheese, deli meats, sub sandwiches, nachos, pizza. Calories? Bring ‘em on!
Counting calories and adhering to a strict diet today is a SUPER culinary no-no.
Here’s another no-no dieticians and nutritionists lined up from Walla Walla to Miami would agree on.
I don’t care.
I want it.
I want it right now.
It has me drooling.
I have to have it.
Don’t lecture me about how it hardens the arteries,
Please carve off a slice for me pronto!
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS:
Worst airline in-flight meal
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jan 25 2009, 08:00 PM
The late restaurant critic of the Milwaukee Journal sentinel, Dennis Getto was my friend. I had a high regard for Getto and his reviews.
I will never forget his scathing April 2003 review of one of the most popular steakhouses in town, Coerper’s 5 O’Clock Club, now known as the 5 O’Clock Steakhouse.
Getto wrote:
“I've visited and reviewed Coerper's many times and have always been put off by the place.
I dislike its loud, smoky atmosphere (numbers for orders are called over a loudspeaker; smokers are allowed at the bar and all tables), its ban on walk-ins (exceptions made, but who knows when?) and its cookie-cutter approach to grilled meats (they're all covered with the same dark crust and set in the same dark meat juice).
Coerper's sticks with an old-time Wisconsin tradition by making you sit down in the bar and order from there (presumably, while you also have a drink). If you are unlucky enough not to know the system, Jimmy will set you straight, pronto. I saw him bark at one clueless group of men who were milling around the hostess stand.
You are not required to ask permission to use the restrooms. If you do, be prepared to negotiate your way around a bottle of disinfectant bleach, a toilet brush and a plunger.
Most of the customers at Coerper's come for the red meat, and especially the steaks. With options in town like Mr. B's, the Chop House, Eddie Martini's, Mo's and Butch's Old Casino Steak House, I won't be joining them.”
As much as I liked and respected my friend, I thought Getto’s review was very unfair. A plunger in the restroom? Thank goodness it wasn’t in the kitchen.
Memories of my friend and that particular review were rekindled this past week when the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel updated its database on city of Milwaukee restaurant inspections.
Getto’s last roundup of his 30 best restaurants was written in June of 2007. The old Coerper’s, of course, never made his list because of that plunger, the toilet brush, the same au jus, etc. But many impressive restaurants did pass Getto’s scrutiny.
I decided to check on how the city of Milwaukee restaurants that made Getto’s top 30 list in June 2007 that are still around fared in the latest health inspections. Here’s what I found with the restaurant listed along with the latest inspection date(s):
Bacchus 6/18/08
Post the State certificate for your certified food manager Employees must properly wash their hands. Employee was seen running hands under water for 2 or 3 seconds then drying them. Proper hand washing should be using soap and water and vigorously washing hands for 15 to 20 seconds, rinsing and then drying with single service towels. Be sure all employees are aware of the proper hand washing procedure and following it. Several employees were noted touching ready to eat foods with bare hands. There is no bare hand contact policy at this establishment. See handouts given by inspector to apply for a bare hand contact approval. In the mean time all employees touching ready to eat foods must wear gloves, use tongs or deli paper or other acceptable method to avoid touching ready to eat foods. Raw meats are being cryovac sealed at the establishment. You must have a HAACP plan and have two barriers in place to control the growth of C. botulinum for vacuum packaging of food. The 2 barriers are met in keeping the food below 41 degrees and the food is raw meat, however you still need to have a HAACP plan on file. See handouts given by inspector for how to fill out a HAACP plan. The slicer has some old food debris on the back blade area. Also the large mixiing bowl in back kitchen area had some old food still visible on inside. Proeprly clean all equipmen to remove all old food debris and then properly sanitize. There was at least one cutting board in kitchen that was badly scored and uncleanable. Resurface or replace the board to return it to a cleanable smooth surface.
There was also a broken container in a cooler in the desert area of kitchen. Discard the broken container as it is no longer smooth and cleanable. Discard any other equipment that is broken as well.
4-205.11 There is a Kitchenaid mixer in the dessert area that is for home use only, it is not a commercial NSF approved peice of equipment. Remove the mixer from the kitchen. All equipment used in a commercial kitchen must be NSF or equivelent sanitation listed equipment.
1) There was a container of cooked bacon and some clean plates being stored on the hand wash sink at far end of main cook line. The hand wash sink is not a clean area for any type of food or food equipment storage. Store food and equipment in a clean sanitary area.
2) There was a cutting board siiting on the counter directly next to the hand wash sink for the salad prep area of the kitchen. Again this is not a clean surface for food prep of any kind. Either install a splash guard between the hand sink and counter area or discontinue to use this surface for food prep.
3) There is a dipper well installed in the counter directly behind a hand wash sink in the dessert area creating a possible contamination issue if there was a scoop stored in there. Do not use this dipper well or provide a seperation/splash guard between it and the hand wash sink.
Karl Ratzsch's 3/14/08
Several of the cutting boards in the kitchen are badly scored and unable to be properly cleaned. Replace or resurface any cutting surface that is no longer cleanable and smooth.
6-501.11 There is a roof leak over the kitchen areas and water is leaking into the kitchen through the ceiling tiles in a couple areas. Repair the roof to stop any water leaking into the kitchen. Do not use the 4 compartmetn sink for dishwashing until ceiling is fixed. The hand wash/prewash sink by the 4 compartment sink was being blocked by dirty dishes. This is the only hand wash sink in the area and must remain accessible at all times for hand washing. Some cooked meat that was being hot held had a wet cloth sitting directly on top of it. The cloth my not be used in direct contact with the food. Disconitue the use of cloths to keep food moist with direct contact. Dirty and clean wiping cloths are being stored in a drawer sitting directly on top of clean utensils. Diiscontinue to store cloths in same drawer as the clean utensils to prevent any possible contamination of hte food utensils. Some grease accumulation was noted under and between cooking equipment under the hoods. Clean all equipment, floors and walls to remove any grease or dirt that has built up.
The Savoy Room 8/12/08
No hand towels at the hand sink by the back door. Provide single service toweling for all handsinks. An employee was doing prep work in the basement when I arrived. There is not a hand sink in the basement. Discontinue doing food prep in the basement or install a hand sink in the basement. The cook used bare hands to place cooked onions on a burger. Employees may not touch ready-to-eat food with their bare hands. Use utensils or gloves to handle ready to eat food. Raw meats on shelf above Granita frozen dessert in freezer. Store all raw animal foods below and away from all ready to eat foods. The consumer advisory was missing from some menu's and was incomplete. Add an asterisk to each item on the menu that is available raw or undercooked. Make sure all menu's have the complete advisory. See the attached handout for details.
Jackson Grill 9/26/08
No consumer advisory posted for required items. Provide an appropriate advisory for raw or undercooked animal foods to Code and asterisk or otherwise mark these items in the menu.
a) A few flies noted inside of kitchen areas. Provide effective pest control to eliminate flies.
b) Bag of rodent bait lying on floor near ice machine in basement. Remove from premise. Only approved means of pest control can be used in areas where food is held/served, etc. Not all required foods being datemarked (cooked ribs, etc.) All potentially hazardous food held for more than 24 hours must be clearly marked to indicate the day by which the food is to be consumed on the premise, sold, or discarded. Use a 7 day use-by date. Cook using broken/chipped spatula. Remove spatula from use -no longer easily cleanable. Cook not aware of proper reheating temperatures. Refer to Food Code Fact sheets given to operator on cooking, reheating, and proper cooling techniques. Make certain that temperatures are being monitored during all phases of cooking/reheating/cooling. The Person In Charge must make sure the requirements of the Food Code are followed
a) Walls/ceiling/interior of hood, etc. very greasy. Clean/remove grease build-up on all surfaces.
b) Broken, greasy coverplate on outlet to right of utensil sinks in kitchen. Replace with approved cover.
c) Floor underneath fryer has grease residue. Clean floor area and sides of fryer (greasy). Open beverage on salad prep table in kitchen. Any employee beverage must be covered and stored in an area not subject to contamination of food/food surfaces. Pans, bowls, etc. stored upright on shelves. All items must be stored inverted on shelves.
Cubanitas 11/13/08
Post the State certificate for your certified food manager There was little to no date marking on ready to eat potentially hazardous foods in the coolers. All ready to eat potentially hazardous foods held for more than 24 hours must be marked with a 7 day use by date. There was no sanitizer solution set up in the kitchen during food prep. Wiping cloths are left out on food prep surfaces. Set up and maintain sanitizer solution in the kitchen and instruct employees to keep wiping cloths in the buckets in between uses. Potentially hazardous food must be held hot at 135 degrees or above. There was a container of garlic oil and saut?ed onions that were at 60 degrees. These are potentially hazardous foods and must maintain the proper holding temperatures.
Nanakusa 6/19/08
1) The ceiling in nearr the cook line in kitchen is browned from grease off the cook line. Be sure all equipment is under the hood properly so hood can capture. Clean all ceiling tiles to remove grease accummulation.
2) There was a ceiling tile removed near sink area of kitchen. Replace the missing ceiling tile. All toxic materials must be stored so they will not contaminate food. Some spray bottles of sanitizer and other chemicals werre stored hanging on a shelf directly next to clean dishes. Store the chemicals below and away from food and equipment. The plumbing on the food prep sink is air breaked, but nor air gapped. There must be an adequate gap between the piping and the drain in the floor; the pipe may not sit in the drain. Repair the plumbing to code. The chemical sanitizer for the glass wash machine in the bar area was at 200ppm+. The concentration for the chlorine sanitizer for the glass washer is to be 50ppm per the data plate on machine. Adjust the concentration to the proper level. There was no sanitize bucket set up on main cookline for sanitizing surfaces. Set up and maintain a sanitizer bucket during food prep times of operation. Keep wiping cloths in the bucket in between uses for sanitizing surfaces. There is only one hand sink currently set up in the kitchen with soap and towels. Provide a soap and single service towel dispenser wither at the dish machine pre-wash sink or the 1st compartment of the 4 compartment sink to be used for the dish wahser. There is a bare hand contact policy at this establishment, however it is not being properly followed. Sushi chef was not wahsing hands at necessary times of food prep. Re-establish the proper and safe hand washing proecdures with all employees. If procedure for bare hand contact allowance can not be followed, it may be revised or revoked. Sushi chef was storing a wiping cloth in the cooked rice container. The chef was using the cloth to wipe his hands off and then replacing it in the rice. Discontinue to store wiping cloth in the rice maker.
Zarletti 10/8/08
Post the State certificate for your certified food manager. At time of inspection a certification card could not be found. The add on faucet and overhead spray arm at the four compartment sink are not functioning properly. This sink is a hand wash sink and the add on faucet is to be used for hand washing. Repair the Faucet to function properly. The hot water at the hand wahs sink near the prep sink was not working. All sinks must have working hot and cold water faucets. Repair the hot water at this sink to function properly. Provide effective pest control methods to eliminate pests. There are many fruit flies noted behind the bar area. See hand out for information on prevention and control of fruit flies. The walk in cooler had many boxes of food stored on the floor. There were recent deliveries, but it appeared there would not be enough shelf space for all the food. Provide an additional storage rack in the walk in or provide additional refrigeration if the walk in can not hold all the cold product. Discontinue to store food on the floor.
Sanford 12/30/08
An ice cream machine and smoker are located in the basement in an area not approved for food preparartion. Provide soap and hand towels at the wash tub sinks. A drop cieling and other changes to the room and/or removal of the equipment may be ordered after consultation with the Equipment/Construction supervisor. Little or no sanitizer found in wiping cloth buckets. Use a test kit to ensure chlorine sanitizer is at 100ppm. The doors are broken and insulation is exposed on two of the chest freezers in the basement. Replace the doors or the freezers.
Sanford 1/6/09
Food smoked/cured without a variance. Discontinue smoking/curing food for preservation. Remove the smoker unit from the premises. Ice cream/gelato is made in the basement as well as smoking/curing. The basement is not approved for any food preparation. Remove the smoker and the ice cream units from the premises.
* Contact the district inspector regarding requirements for building a prep room in the basement.
BOTTOM LINE:
Restaurants, especially those that garner multiple stars, need to be up to par and then some. Personally……
Some pencil pushing, nitpicky bureaucrat just itching to find fault out of self-preservation is NOT, I repeat, NOT going to stop me from patronizing places like Bacchus, Karl Ratzsch’s, or Sanford.
I would take some of these reports with a grain of salt.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
Remember John Pinette's comedy routine, "Chinese Buffet?"
Weird stuff just doesn't happen at all-you-can-eat buffets, right? Wrong. Words of advice: next time you're in the buffet line, for your own good, pretend you're going through security at the airport. No jokes. No smiles. No smart aleck remarks. Just keep your mouth shut.
YET ANOTHER CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
Those Girl Scout cookies…..
The Thin Mints….
NOT KOSHER???!!!!
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jan 18 2009, 07:00 PM
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MOMS AND DADS, BOYS AND GIRLS, I MUST INFORM YOU THIS EDITION OF THE MEGA-POPULAR CULINARY NO-NO CONTAINS X-RATED MATERIAL THAT I MUST CONFESS SOME READERS MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE. IF, AFTER THIS WARNING, YOU CONTINUE TO READ ON AND FIND THE CONTENT APPALLING, PLEASE CONTACT MARK MALEY TO COMPLAIN:
NOW Online Editor Mark Maley | mmaley@cninow.com | (262) 446-6630
I have never been to, nor do I have any strong desire to visit the town of Vassalboro, Maine, located near Augusta. Its official web site describes the locale of 4,335 as a quaint slice of Americana:
“Vassalboro is a community nestled between the banks of the Kennebec River and the West Basin of China Lake. Fertile farmland, small villages, and gentle rolling hills give our town a unique character. Settled in 1760 and incorporated in 1771, Vassalboro has developed into a community committed to quality of life, economic opportunity, and a sound education system.”
In the 2008 election, the town voted 1,291 for Barack Obama, and 1,059 for John McCain.
Like most small towns in the good ol’ U.S. of A., I’m sure Vassalboro is hurting for business and, let’s face it, excitement. What could little Vassalboro possibly do to help resolve both problems in one swift move? What would increase business, possibly tourism and create jobs and give the Vassalboro townsfolk something to buzz about?
Give up?
Try a topless coffee shop.
On January 6, 2008, after a three-hour meeting, the Vassalboro town planning board unanimously approved a proposal by local businessman Donald Crabtree to open a coffee shop featuring topless waitresses. The new venture, set to open as soon as next month, would be at the former Mac Daddy's Pub at the Fat Cat Grille (naturally) that has been vacant for over three years.
According to a published report, there would be “Topless service between 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. to 25 tables arranged on a checkerboard floor behind blacked-out windows and a cordon of security.”
6 a.m.? Talk about your eye opener!
Small town politics can be more fascinating than Peyton Place in the 1960’s. I love this, again from a published report:
"My husband doesn't drink coffee," said Erlile Pelletier, as she worked the cash register at Ferris Variety. "But I told him if he became a coffee drinker, we were getting a divorce."
That must have been some meeting on January 6 when the planning board threw up their hands and proclaimed their hands were tied. Their weak defense was that they had no choice because there was no local ordinance prohibiting a topless coffee shop.
Well then, create one!
Again, from a published report:
"We have limited authority," Planning Board Chairwoman Virginia Brackett said. "You can yell at us all you want, but it doesn't change what we can do."
Uhh, excuse me. You did have a choice, especially considering that a crowd of up to 60 showed up at the meeting to oppose topless coffee. You could have, in the best interests of the town and in deference to the large crowd that attended your meeting voted………….
NO!
I am not a prude, but I’m not a pig. A topless coffee shop? This isn’t Vegas or LA. It’s Vassalboro, Maine. I would bet that at least one person reading this blog spent two weeks there one night.
And I will write what I’m sure many men and some women readers are thinking. Just what in the hell would a topless waitress from Vassalboro look like in the first place? Might be enough to curdle your half and half.
Townspeople in Vassalboro, as much as it might sting, you lost to a bunch of cowardly morons. A cup of coffee just isn’t worth it. Boycott the damn place, put it out of business, and then vote the el stupido’s out of office.
Now, because I don’t believe I’ve provided you “full” coverage of this story, here’s more:
The Kennebec Morning Sentinel
The Boston Globe
Local TV report
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
While caught in the frenzy of Obama-mania, some (lefties?) thought the Great One and Mrs. Great One would barrel into the White House and fire that no good W's chef. After all, Presdient Bush ate (Horror of horrors) hamburgers and hot dogs and pork rinds.
Guess again.
And theres' more, yes, there's more.
Here's a leftover from ELVIS Birthday weekend. If you've stayed this long, and given your imperial taste for patronizing this blog I'm confident you have, you are in for yet another bonus treat, a first for This Just In...
Oh, this is almost far too good to just unleash on you without some previous warning.
But I have faith that you're a hearty bunch and can more than handle this special surprise just sprung on you....
Are you ready?
Take a deep breath.
Uhh one.
Uhh two.
It's time for.....
ELVIS CULINARY NO-NO FINAL JEOPARDY!!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, yes it's that time.....time once again for another This Just In edition of:
FINAL JEOPARDY!
Only this time, it's ELVIS CULINARY NO-NO FINAL JEOPARDY!
Are you ready?
Well then, let’s play!
Today’s Final Jeopardy category is:
ELVIS CULINARY NO-NO
Now, you know how this works.
In a moment, I’ll give you the Final Jeopardy clue.
You will have 30 seconds (if you play fair, that will be when the music runs out) to come up with an answer and remember, players……… your answer must be in the form of a question.
Ready.
Here’s your clue.
The one food Elvis would not allow inside or to be cooked at Graceland.
Good luck! (please click)
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OK, time’s up. Today’s Final Jeopardy category is ELVIS CULINARY NO-NO.
The Final Jeopardy clue was, The one food Elvis would not allow inside or to be cooked at Graceland.
The correct Final Jeopardy answer is:
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What is seafood? (Elvis couldn't stand the smell. Source: Sirius Satellite Radio).
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jan 11 2009, 08:00 PM
The slowly deteriorating Southridge Mall is a veritable wasteland when it comes to dining options, especially when you compare it to other malls.
Disregarding the obligatory food courts, Mayfair has Applebee's Neighborhood Grill & Bar, Maggiano's Little Italy, McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant, The Cheesecake Factory and Panera Bread.
Brookfield Square has Paciugo, Bravo Cucina Italiana, Claim Jumper, Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar, Houlihan’s, Mitchell’s Fish Market Restaurant & Bar, and Stir Crazy.
The Bayshore Town Center has Applebee’s, Bar Louie, BD’s Mongolian Grill, Bravo, California Pizza Kitchen, Cheesecake factory, Chocolate Factory, Devon Seafood Grill, and Ovation Restaurant.
Southridge has……….not much. Well, it has……..nothing.
Down the street is Red Robin. Further down the street is an Olive Garden and a Carabbas. But the floundering Southridge Mall has nothing like its counterparts, save an ordinary food court. Its best and most popular restaurant changed dramatically when the Boston Store was forced to shut down Bingo games at its cafeteria.
The last time the mall had a decent place for sit down dining physically inside the mall was many years ago when it featured a Ruby Tuesday. That’s been long gone.
Before Ruby Tuesday, remember JoJo’s with those porthole windows? JoJo’s was right on 76th Street, near the current bank and Border’s.
The southwest corner of Milwaukee County cries out for more and better retail shopping and dining destinations. Southridge shoppers know that if they want something other than fast food on a tray with the huddled masses, you have to leave the mall and drive somewhere else. This will change on Tuesday.
Like the phoenix rising from the dead, another Ruby Tuesday officially opens on S.76th Street. Ruby Tuesday is a quality chain, a welcome addition to the restaurant.-barren landscape known as the Southridge area.
No standing in line to order. No lugging your tray hunting for a place to sit that’s actually clean. No looking into a speaker telling a pimply-faced 16-year old who can’t read, write, or understand basic English that you don’t want apple pie with that.
Finally, an honest to goodness, decent, reputable, tried and true place to eat. Sigh upon sigh of relief.
Having said all that, when Ruby Tuesday’s opens on Tuesday (how clever is that), don’t go. That’s right.
DO NOT EAT AT RUBY TUESDAY’S!
Not Tuesday. Not Wednesday. Not next week. Not in two weeks. Not this month.
“Did you hear that, Edith? Kevin Fischer says we should stay away from that there new whatchacallit, Judy Thursday Place.”
“That’s Ruby Tuesday, Archie.”
“Whatever!”
So what kind of community/business promoter am I if I’m urging readers, and this is no joke, not to patronize a place I’ve already defined as a “quality” establishment? It’s really quite simple.
Ruby Tuesday, through no fault of its own, is like any other comparable restaurant. It can’t help itself. Through no fault of its own, Ruby Tuesday will have all kinds of kinks and bugs to work out, being a spanking brand new place.
Go there on opening day or week and you might have a delightful experience. The odds are better you’ll encounter service delays, botched up orders, questions that employees can’t answer, confusion, apologies. It goes with the territory. Problem is it could lead to an unfair assessment on your part preventing a return visit. Now how’s that for good business?
The late Milwaukee Journal Sentinel dining critic Dennis Getto used to say that you should wait 4-6 weeks before venturing into a just-opened restaurant. Four to six weeks? Won’t that spell economic disaster? Not for a chain. And you’ll probably enjoy your first trip there a whole lot more.
As Mick Jagger once sang, “Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday,” At least for a few weeks.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUS
A restaurant with food to die for.
Ok, that place is still a helluva lot better than this.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jan 11 2009, 07:45 PM
Culinary no-no #91 was devoted to crummy airport food. I wrote:
“Culinary prognosticators swear airports will substantially upgrade their fare in 2009. I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Here’s a start, right here in Milwaukee.
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